Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
Presumed dead, a vengeful old man uses his grandson as a vessel to help the police bust the cult that has destroyed his own life in order to save the human race.
Some great comments by Richiev and giannisggeorgiou. Why not make the Grandson the protagonist and he's avenging his grandfather's death? The best thing about doing it this way is the audience is then following a protagonist who knows as little as they do. This would likely reduce the amount of expoRead more
Some great comments by Richiev and giannisggeorgiou.
Why not make the Grandson the protagonist and he’s avenging his grandfather’s death? The best thing about doing it this way is the audience is then following a protagonist who knows as little as they do. This would likely reduce the amount of exposition required in the first act as the information would be discovered along the way. The grandfather could have left clues for the grandson making it a really creepy detective-type film.
The protagonist needs to be the one who busts this cult. No police. In fact, if anything, the police are involved with the cult. Make this as tough as possible for the protagonist, he has nowhere to turn – except to the B-story – best friend, love interest, his grandfather’s 86 year old girlfriend? Horror works best when someone is isolated in as many ways as possible. I also think he shouldn’t just be busting them… he should be destroying them. Similar to the end of ‘Get Out’ (no spoilers but watch the movie and you’ll understand).
The biggest problem currently is the ambiguity mentioned by Richiev. I don’t really want to add my comments regarding that until there’s been clarification.
Hope this helps.
See lessWhen a struggling repo agent gets arrested, she is rescued and recruited by a mysterious business woman that specializes in acquiring and selling exotic, hard to find, mythical items to the highest bidder.
Agree with both Richiev and?giannisggeorgiou.I also want to know why this repo-agent has been selected. What characteristic could she have that'd go someway to explaining why the mysterious business woman has hired her (out of everyone else). The characteristic is usually used to set up the characteRead more
Agree with both Richiev and?giannisggeorgiou.
I also want to know why this repo-agent has been selected. What characteristic could she have that’d go someway to explaining why the mysterious business woman has hired her (out of everyone else). The characteristic is usually used to set up the character’s arc (shy –> confident, rich –> poor, etc) and/or goes some way to explaining who this character is and how they will react to the events in the story. An angry person will get angry, ?a drunk will be drunk. In your logline I feel like it needs to be something like “cocky” or “resourceful”. Something that, in the world of mythical artefact acquisition and auctions, gives her an edge.
Why was she arrested? That’s the inciting incident in this story… but I can’t see how this has any impact on the rest of tale. Usually, the inciting incident is an event that upsets the balance in the protagonist’s life and their goal becomes to set it right again. I think you could just cut that bit out and say “When she’s recruited by a mysterious businesswoman…” as per Richiev’s suggestion.
See lessGood logline?
Please read the 'Our formula' page. This doesn't have an inciting incident, a protagonist, a goal, it sort of has stakes (although they don't make sense - school and career... surely if they're students they don't have careers?)... in short, and I apologise for being blunt, no this is not a good logRead more
Please read the ‘Our formula’ page.
This doesn’t have an inciting incident, a protagonist, a goal, it sort of has stakes (although they don’t make sense – school and career… surely if they’re students they don’t have careers?)… in short, and I apologise for being blunt, no this is not a good logline.
See less