Agree with dpg.

Specificity is often the key to a good logline. Having a very clear understanding of the plot (at least until the midpoint or end of act II) is essential. Since the message here is going to be about vanity I imagine, it’s worth telling us specifically what is corrupted and then what she plans to do about it. This is potentially just the inciting incident. The corruption appears as she walks back into school first day back, and that’s the perfect Act I break. Entering the upside-down world. ?But what happens next?

Interesting though. Stick with it! I love a good high school coming of age film and this, as dpg has said, is certainly a topical subject.

I think the inciting incident needs to be adjusted to include the threat. Currently, he’s just stumbled upon a signal…. but that doesn’t tell us the aliens are trying to kill us. It actually makes a slight disconnect between the inciting incident and the goal. To me, the inciting incident is the discovery that the aliens are hostile. This is what sets up the goal of saving everyone.

Independence Day is an ensemble film. Arguably, Will Smith and Bill Pullman are joint protagonists too. I think we need these to understand what’s going to happen throughout act II. Otherwise, if I’m reading this like I had no knowledge of Independence Day, I’d be wondering how an MIT graduate saves the entire planet in an action film. Add the president and an ace fighter pilot and suddenly I start seeing how it’s going to work.?It can still be framed around David though, it just becomes part of what he must do in order to save the world.

“wipe out the last of humanity” – this, to me, suggests there’s not many of us left.

“save the planet” – how? What actions sustain us through act II in order to achieve this goal.

Stick with it. It’s difficult to write and review a logline for such a well-known movie because the majority of people know the plot.