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When a brain injury puts a surefire pro football prospect's institutional loyalty into question, he must rediscover himself and rise to protect his teammates from a ruthless coaching staff.
Yes. Thanks for boiling it down, Richie! I thought about really putting all the stakes on the brain injury from act one on, but the hero leaving the athletic realm gives him perspective from the outside. The fact that all these people "love" him has always been uncomfortable for him and now he finalRead more
Yes. Thanks for boiling it down, Richie!
I thought about really putting all the stakes on the brain injury from act one on, but the hero leaving the athletic realm gives him perspective from the outside. The fact that all these people “love” him has always been uncomfortable for him and now he finally sees why. It’s strictly conditional.
So the leg injury was the vehicle I’ve used thus far to force him OUT of athletics. Head injuries are (or have been until late), treated with suspicion in locker rooms. These guys compete so fiercely that it’s seen as a lack of will, especially since most can and do cheat concussion tests to play anyhow. So a broken leg would force him out. Either way, your comment has me wondering if I can find a way to place ALL the external stakes on the head injury.
Oh and the stake character – yes, that’s great insight. The trickster/fool character is a puppy dog-type and a walk-on that is thrust forth because of Cal’s injury. Desperate for glory, he ends up in over his head and Cal feels responsible for his demise. This is what forces Cal to attempt to come back early.
Other characters in the locker room also have stakes tied to Cal’s performance – notably his fellow linemen. Another of which is on the cusp of being a prized prospect as well. So the characters and implicit (and explicit) pressures are there. It feels like it’s just a matter of getting the chemistry right.
I am going to take both of these comments into the next rewrite in January. Thank you!
See lessWhen a brain injury puts a surefire pro football prospect's institutional loyalty into question, he must rediscover himself and rise to protect his teammates from a ruthless coaching staff.
The coach is the villain because although the game is violent, he stacks the deck. He brings on physicians who do anything possible to keep players on the field. Drugs, misdiagnosing and etc. And he removes anyone who doesn't "play ball." A master politician, he sells the kids on sacrifice while theRead more
The coach is the villain because although the game is violent, he stacks the deck. He brings on physicians who do anything possible to keep players on the field. Drugs, misdiagnosing and etc. And he removes anyone who doesn’t “play ball.” A master politician, he sells the kids on sacrifice while their sacrifice furthers his own agenda. As the script progresses, he has a pro job lined up that causes him to take greater risks (with other peoples well-being) and also puts him into conflict with the university.
And the average career of an NFL player is actually 3.2 years. It’s really, really sad.
See lessWhen a brain injury puts a surefire pro football prospect's institutional loyalty into question, he must rediscover himself and rise to protect his teammates from a ruthless coaching staff.
The brain injury is the inciting incident - one that is discarded by the staff. It's a static injury that has slowly grown. That said, he experiences a broken leg (fibula) that FORCES him out of football (though players HAVE played on this injury before. With symptoms of the brain injury still preseRead more
The brain injury is the inciting incident – one that is discarded by the staff. It’s a static injury that has slowly grown. That said, he experiences a broken leg (fibula) that FORCES him out of football (though players HAVE played on this injury before. With symptoms of the brain injury still present, he returns with the leg partially healed and things go downhill quickly.
His goal in act two is to get back to football – with his former community now showing their conditional love for him. In terms of his one objective goal, it’s to PROTECT OTHERS. The only way this character has rationalized continuing to play football is through his protection of others (he’s an offensive lineman). He’s playing to protect his washed out father (by making the league he’ll provide for him), his teammates (by raising his play, he enables their dreams and, later, their health) and the love interest (who is later at risk).
And in act 3 – yes, you’re dead on. He has a pregame showdown with the coach. Again, using the “staff” term was just poor phrasing on my part.
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