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After witnessing a backstage murder, a punk band is forced into a back room by malicious skinheads, and must fight their way out to survive. GREEN ROOM [2016]
This logline reads well. I haven't seen the film, but it sounds good the only caveat I can think of is that getting out of a green room doesn't sound like enough action for a whole film. Was there anything else they did?
This logline reads well.
I haven’t seen the film, but it sounds good the only caveat I can think of is that getting out of a green room doesn’t sound like enough action for a whole film.
See lessWas there anything else they did?
A writer finds a journal and decides to use its contents for his next novel not knowing it contains hidden plans to murder a future country leader.
It sounds as if the publication is the inciting incident, finding a journal seems almost redundant in the logline. Perhaps best to change the logline to reflect this: After accidentally publishing real assassination plans in his novel, a writer must... As FFF and DPG said, what ever he does thereaftRead more
It sounds as if the publication is the inciting incident, finding a journal seems almost redundant in the logline.
Perhaps best to change the logline to reflect this:
After accidentally publishing real assassination plans in his novel, a writer must…
As FFF and DPG said, what ever he does thereafter will be the plot, so best to specify this in the logline.
See lessWhen a tech company?s financial software is compromised by a terrorist group, a strategist must unravel clues from an ancient work of popular Japanese fiction to prevent the global economy from collapse.
It feels as if there are two separate and unrelated elements in this logline. It's one thing to create curiosity, but another to create confusion and the latter is true in this case.My point is that it would take far too many explanations, for a logline, to causally connect corporate espionage withRead more
It feels as if there are two separate and unrelated elements in this logline. It’s one thing to create curiosity, but another to create confusion and the latter is true in this case.
My point is that it would take far too many explanations, for a logline, to causally connect corporate espionage with an ancient Japanese work of popular culture.
Best to either change the way in which the main character fights the terrorist, or not describe it in the logline.
Secondly the stakes are unclear. What’s the worst that will happen should he fail? The company goes bankrupt, he’s fired and finds a job elsewhere… Really no biggi.
You’ve already described the antagonists as a group of terrorists, why not then make the stakes life or death?
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