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  1. Posted: June 28, 2020In: TVPOD

    When their husbands leave them to marry each other, two life-long frenemies must overcome their yuppie vs hippie animosity, form an actual deep friendship, and help each other make something rare and special of the third act of their lives.

    Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai
    Added an answer on June 28, 2020 at 1:04 pm

    Is it possible to refocus the action section of the logline to tangible goals that the characters actively seek, rather than the internal journeys the characters will go on throughout the series? What does "make something rare and special of the third act of their lives" look like?

    Is it possible to refocus the action section of the logline to tangible goals that the characters actively seek, rather than the internal journeys the characters will go on throughout the series?

    What does “make something rare and special of the third act of their lives” look like?

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  2. Posted: June 28, 2020In: TVPOD

    When unscrupulous salesperson Eleanor accidentally ends up in the Heaven-like Good Place in a case of mistaken identity, she must learn to pass as a good person if she is to avoid discovery and be cast into the Hellish torment of the Bad Place.

    Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai
    Added an answer on June 28, 2020 at 1:01 pm

    This could probably be trimmed a bit. Also - no need to give her name in the logline. It's just blowing out word-count. When an unscrupulous salesperson accidentally goes to heaven, she enlists the help of an ethics professor to help her pass for as a good person, so she doesn't get sent to hell.

    This could probably be trimmed a bit.

    Also – no need to give her name in the logline. It’s just blowing out word-count.

    When an unscrupulous salesperson accidentally goes to heaven, she enlists the help of an ethics professor to help her pass for as a good person, so she doesn’t get sent to hell.

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  3. Posted: June 28, 2020In: TVPOD

    Hapless new mother Audrey attempts to navigate the pressures and problems of motherhood. This is no easy task, especially with a selfish mother, a workaholic husband, and an oddball mothers group to contend with.

    Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai
    Added an answer on June 28, 2020 at 12:57 pm

    An irk of mine in loglines - don't use characters' names. It's a waste of word count and tells us nothing about character. Instead, use flaw and function. (Unless you're pitching like, a Harry Potter sequel). What is the event that kicks off this story that upsets the status quo? Is it just that sheRead more

    An irk of mine in loglines – don’t use characters’ names. It’s a waste of word count and tells us nothing about character. Instead, use flaw and function. (Unless you’re pitching like, a Harry Potter sequel).

    What is the event that kicks off this story that upsets the status quo? Is it just that she gives birth?

    Is the series engine really just “a woman has a baby and life is difficult”?

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