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Chained together by backwoods people, a wanted bank-robber and his hostage must work together to escape and survive through unknown terrain.
The "backwoods people" part of the logline doesn't necessarily relate in any clear way to needing to survive through unknown terrain. The event doesn't clearly correlate with the action taken to correct it. Perhaps it needs to be clarified, why the backwoods people are a threat, because that's alsoRead more
The “backwoods people” part of the logline doesn’t necessarily relate in any clear way to needing to survive through unknown terrain.
The event doesn’t clearly correlate with the action taken to correct it.
Perhaps it needs to be clarified, why the backwoods people are a threat, because that’s also not necessarily a given?
What’s the arc of the protagonist? Could you provide a flaw that indicates the change the protagonist will experience across the story?
See lessAfter 10 years of trying to cure her condition that sends her to a different parallel universe every time she falls asleep, a obsessive girl finds herself returning to an alternate Earth for the first time and must work with an alternate version of her scientist father to discover the secret to controlling her ability in order to return home.
What is making it difficult to find her father? Is there a way to make it seem like her goal is going to be very difficult to attain? Is her time in each universe actually dependent on her sleeping, or is there a time that she teleports - like midnight? I like this idea very much - very best of luckRead more
What is making it difficult to find her father? Is there a way to make it seem like her goal is going to be very difficult to attain?
Is her time in each universe actually dependent on her sleeping, or is there a time that she teleports – like midnight?
I like this idea very much – very best of luck bringing this to the screen.
See lessWhen prediction software found on the dark net determines he will die unless he kills a person he doesn?t know, a reclusive software scavenger must find the programme?s designer to alter his fate, but questions if his actions are leading him to his demise or his salvation.
How does the prediction software also give him instructions? Is the fact that his call to adventure arrives via a mysterious prediction software necessary to share in the Logline? If so, could be it more clearly connected to the action he chooses to take? Could that section be simplified by simply sRead more
How does the prediction software also give him instructions?
Is the fact that his call to adventure arrives via a mysterious prediction software necessary to share in the Logline? If so, could be it more clearly connected to the action he chooses to take?
Could that section be simplified by simply saying ?When a message from the dark-web orders he commit an assasination or he will die …? ?
Is there a way to include the source of antagonism that the character will face?
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