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A trio of young, lifelong friends seek to prove their mettle against the horrors of England’s most haunted ruin before the castle’s legendary Headless guardian adds their skulls to its collection..
Is the Headless guardian already after the friends before they enter the castle? Or does the Headless guardian come after them only once they enter the ruins?
Is the Headless guardian already after the friends before they enter the castle?
See lessOr does the Headless guardian come after them only once they enter the ruins?
In a near future three close but troubled small-town boys journey alone cross country seeking hope and meaning within a crumbling society exposing them to the realisation that their days as children and lifelong companions may be drawing to an end.
Nir Shelter, I truly appreciate your feedback.I have attempted to raise the stakes in this revision but I am unsure if I have created a more convoluted story premise. Needs fresh eyes...Disillusioned by his communities traditions and risking exile for his family, a progressively withdrawn adolescentRead more
Nir Shelter, I truly appreciate your feedback.
I have attempted to raise the stakes in this revision but I am unsure if I have created a more convoluted story premise. Needs fresh eyes…
Disillusioned by his communities traditions and risking exile for his family, a progressively withdrawn adolescent journeys alone cross country to witness the launch of the first spacecraft destined to contact alien life in honor of close friend’s dying?wish.
And while I agree with you that ‘boy’ is a generic term, there is something to be said for clarity in simplicity. I am not convinced ‘adolescent’ is any more engaging to a reader than simply ‘boy’? Ideas? I want to convey a rebellious kid but not to the point of being delinquent.?
See lessAfter finding a student showing signs of self-harm, Thomas, an intrapersonal anxious janitor must risk his job in pursuit of helping the young teen learn the beauty of life through his secret rooftop garden.
Why must he risk his job? Is his solution to help the student incompatible with the expectations of his job? I feel both intrapersonal and anxious could be more effectively conveyed with a singular word such as 'reserved'. Intrapersonal anxious just seems overly prescriptive.
Why must he risk his job? Is his solution to help the student incompatible with the expectations of his job?
I feel both intrapersonal and anxious could be more effectively conveyed with a singular word such as ‘reserved’. Intrapersonal anxious just seems overly prescriptive.
See less