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After being kidnapped during a violent war, an innocent boy must find his way home.
For mine, your log line captures none of the compelling elements of this outline. There is plenty in it to hook the audience which could be used. The soldiers come across several children and kill them, sparing one child - What made this one particular child special? Why was he/she singled out and sRead more
For mine, your log line captures none of the compelling elements of this outline. There is plenty in it to hook the audience which could be used.
The soldiers come across several children and kill them, sparing one child – What made this one particular child special? Why was he/she singled out and spared?
He is taken and sold and then ?adopted? by a wealthy family – are these 3 separate events, or do you mean he is sold to a family who then consider it a form of adoption?
Eventually (as an adult) he searches out his family – how did he gain his independence? One moment he is essentially a captive child, next he is a free adult?
Essentially though, the original log line is too vague and contains none of the interesting elements of your proposed story.
See lessAfter his mentor?s murder, a killer, an assassin in an attempt to find a reason to live, returns to the covert world he left to find the killer, but realizes he?s no longer the hunter, but the hunted.
To avenge his mentor?s murder, an assassin is drawn back into the world he had abandoned, but realizes he?s no longer the hunter, but the hunted. Seems a little cleaner.
To avenge his mentor?s murder, an assassin is drawn back into the world he had abandoned, but realizes he?s no longer the hunter, but the hunted.
Seems a little cleaner.
See lessNoise Control Beta – In a world where to perceive a forbidden noise is the highest crime, a cop whose wife starts hearing it must find its origin in the desperate attempt to save her.
I agree with Foxtrot25, how exactly is involuntarily 'hearing' something justification for a incrimination?However, much like Dkpough1, I'd be fascinated to see how this story plays (So long as the suspension of disbelief at a passive crime was not too distracting).
I agree with Foxtrot25, how exactly is involuntarily ‘hearing’ something justification for a incrimination?
However, much like Dkpough1, I’d be fascinated to see how this story plays (So long as the suspension of disbelief at a passive crime was not too distracting).
See less