1. Posted: May 1, 2015In:

    When a self-centered youth's family is captured by an invading army, he trains as a knight before setting out to rescue them. As the kingdom teeters on the brink of collapse, the fate of both his family and kingdom depend upon a single decision. (Improved – hopefully)

    Outlawdl

    So by removing the fact that there is a decision from the logline, could the "two" goals be written as one? Such as: "When a self-centered youth's family is captured by an invading army and the fate of the kingdom hangs in the balance, he must defy his nature and take the oath of a knight in order tRead more

    So by removing the fact that there is a decision from the logline, could the “two” goals be written as one? Such as:

    “When a self-centered youth’s family is captured by an invading army and the fate of the kingdom hangs in the balance, he must defy his nature and take the oath of a knight in order to rescue them.”

    Thanks for all the input.

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  2. Posted: April 30, 2015In:

    After training as a knight, a young man embarks on a quest to rescue his family from an invading army. However, when his kingdom is on the brink of collapse, he must choose between his own personal goals and those of his new Order's.

    Outlawdl

    The young man embarking on the quest is the result of the invasion. The training as a knight is the first step in his quest. The kingdom is on the brink midway through. The decision is the culmination of the crisis. The stakes are either that his family dies or the kingdom suffers (won't go into detRead more

    The young man embarking on the quest is the result of the invasion.

    The training as a knight is the first step in his quest.

    The kingdom is on the brink midway through.

    The decision is the culmination of the crisis.

    The stakes are either that his family dies or the kingdom suffers (won’t go into details here).

    Thank you for your input!

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  3. Posted: May 1, 2015In:

    When a self-centered youth's family is captured by an invading army, he trains as a knight before setting out to rescue them. As the kingdom teeters on the brink of collapse, the fate of both his family and kingdom depend upon a single decision. (Improved – hopefully)

    Outlawdl

    The thing is, the decision is a culmination of the events, which initiates the climax of the story. What do you mean by the specificity of the war? The protagonist rarely takes part in the war until the climax. Thanks for your help!

    The thing is, the decision is a culmination of the events, which initiates the climax of the story. What do you mean by the specificity of the war? The protagonist rarely takes part in the war until the climax.

    Thanks for your help!

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