1. Posted: May 1, 2015In:

    When a self-centered youth's family is captured by an invading army, he trains as a knight before setting out to rescue them. As the kingdom teeters on the brink of collapse, the fate of both his family and kingdom depend upon a single decision. (Improved – hopefully)

    Outlawdl

    Thanks for all the feedback and advice! I really appreciate it.

    Thanks for all the feedback and advice! I really appreciate it.

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  2. Posted: May 1, 2015In:

    When a self-centered youth's family is captured by an invading army, he trains as a knight before setting out to rescue them. As the kingdom teeters on the brink of collapse, the fate of both his family and kingdom depend upon a single decision. (Improved – hopefully)

    Outlawdl

    I see what you mean. I'm trying to get across that he ignores the plight of those around him and is fixated only on his goal, and that he has to overcome this in order to save his family. Perhaps if I described him as "callous"? Could I not leave it up to the reader to assume that the only people heRead more

    I see what you mean. I’m trying to get across that he ignores the plight of those around him and is fixated only on his goal, and that he has to overcome this in order to save his family. Perhaps if I described him as “callous”? Could I not leave it up to the reader to assume that the only people he cares for are his family?

    Thanks.

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  3. Posted: April 30, 2015In:

    A young woman struggles to survive when a creature from Guaran? legend is unleashed on a rural Louisiana town.

    Outlawdl

    I think that this logline is the better one out of the other three. It reads much easier and I find that the story is easy to imagine in its basic form, but I agree with dpg's advice further down the thread. It'll hopefully make your logline have even more impact.

    I think that this logline is the better one out of the other three. It reads much easier and I find that the story is easy to imagine in its basic form, but I agree with dpg’s advice further down the thread. It’ll hopefully make your logline have even more impact.

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