1. Posted: May 5, 2015In:

    After being augmented against her will, a street-girl from a futuristic city must avoid capture by both former allies as well as the wealthy caste — sparking a civil war in which only the strongest survive.

    Outlawdl

    Well, her real problem is that she is dying (enhancements slowly killing her) and only the company that experimented on her can help her - except she doesn't want to get captured again (hence her trying to both save herself and get revenge at the same time). Nir Shelter was perhaps correct in suggesRead more

    Well, her real problem is that she is dying (enhancements slowly killing her) and only the company that experimented on her can help her – except she doesn’t want to get captured again (hence her trying to both save herself and get revenge at the same time).
    Nir Shelter was perhaps correct in suggesting that I remove the civil war part, but it’s integral to the story, and I feel that it will be difficult to picture the film concept without mentioning it.

    Thanks!

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  2. Posted: May 5, 2015In:

    After being augmented against her will, a street-girl from a futuristic city must avoid capture by both former allies as well as the wealthy caste — sparking a civil war in which only the strongest survive.

    Outlawdl

    Thanks for the responses. Nir Shelter, the civil war begins due to the girls capture and experimentation as the wealthy, augmented caste are attacked out of anger by the poorer, non-enhanced caste. I'm not sure if this is justification enough to include the civil war part in the logline - any opinioRead more

    Thanks for the responses.

    Nir Shelter, the civil war begins due to the girls capture and experimentation as the wealthy, augmented caste are attacked out of anger by the poorer, non-enhanced caste. I’m not sure if this is justification enough to include the civil war part in the logline – any opinion after the explanation?

    Also, I want the girl to not necessarily be a hero. Her goal is to save her own life, and doesn’t care about others. I guess that can be her transformation, but that would only then be at the end when destroying the company.

    Thanks for the feedback!

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  3. Posted: May 5, 2015In:

    A young white Afrikaner fights for the liberation of his people in an alternate history of reversed Apartheid.

    Outlawdl

    I disagree. During apartheid, black people weren't seen as "dominating" white people, thus with this alternate history, white people won't be seen as "dominating" black people - quite the opposite in fact (as Jandre states). Race is obviously a touchy subject, but we have to move forward and be openRead more

    I disagree. During apartheid, black people weren’t seen as “dominating” white people, thus with this alternate history, white people won’t be seen as “dominating” black people – quite the opposite in fact (as Jandre states). Race is obviously a touchy subject, but we have to move forward and be open to “What if” scenarios such as this one without being too sensitive.

    Anyway, the logline is good and the concept is interesting.

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