Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
In the near future, a young genius escapes a moonbase where a madman secretly enslaves scientists in his plan to wipe out life on Earth but when no one believes him, he alone must find a way to destroy the base and free the other scientists.
It's a cool, dramatic premise. I don't get a feel for the character yet, though. "Young genius" is not enough to promise an engaging character for me. What personal challenges does the character face? Also, the survival of mankind is only a valid stake if there is someone close to the MC that we carRead more
It’s a cool, dramatic premise. I don’t get a feel for the character yet, though.
“Young genius” is not enough to promise an engaging character for me.
What personal challenges does the character face?
Also, the survival of mankind is only a valid stake if there is someone close to the MC that we care enough for to understand why he does it, other than out of self-preservation. This is why so many disaster movies are centred around families and/or couples.
Finally, I would prefer to see a logline following our formula, starting with ‘when’.
See lessRight now I struggle to see a clear trigger incident for the story, which means there may be a lot of exposition and backstory.
When a white supremacist cop is confronted by billboards calling out his chief’s neglect of a rape and murder case, he must silence the victim’s bitter mother and return peace to the town.
MPR: ...but when the chief suicides and leaves a note with a message of love, the cop must put his bigotry aside, reconcile with the mother, and conclude the investigation himself.
MPR: …but when the chief suicides and leaves a note with a message of love, the cop must put his bigotry aside, reconcile with the mother, and conclude the investigation himself.
See lessWhen the city is devoured by war. A surviving girl on the verge of madness and a hungry old rat cross their lonely paths in order to find their salvation.
The problem with a logline like this is that I can't see the promise of interesting, unique scenes. We have seen many dystopian, post-apocalyptical films about single characters fighting to survive a cruel environment. What makes this one unique and interesting to watch? If the girl is on the vergeRead more
The problem with a logline like this is that I can’t see the promise of interesting, unique scenes.
We have seen many dystopian, post-apocalyptical films about single characters fighting to survive a cruel environment.
What makes this one unique and interesting to watch?
If the girl is on the verge of madness, it will be hard for an audience to identify with her. So what DOES make us care for her?
It could be her relationship to the rat. But then – unless the movie is animated – the rat has limited potential to become a real character, that the girl can bounce off.
You could give a little more detail about the war. Is it a real war from the past, or fictitious? Save on words by leaving out ‘surviving’.
Finally, what does ‘to find their salvation’ mean? It’s a generic theme phrase that doesn’t add much in terms of appeal, or even detail.
See less