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one of the twin police duo is not in his right mind but he is very smart also no one knows what macabre plans this one has in mind implicates him in wanting to commit a murder in fact there are investigations but he camouflages himself in his own work which leads him to not be discovered in the future from there they will be involved in other matters including the stalking of his brother’s daughter, his twin..
This reads like a stream-of-consciousness run-on sentence. I have read it twice and still don't have a clue what it is about. May I suggest you read the training materials on this site? This is not a story concept as it merely lists two events. Read the sections labeled "Formula" and "Examples", theRead more
This reads like a stream-of-consciousness run-on sentence. I have read it twice and still don’t have a clue what it is about.
May I suggest you read the training materials on this site? This is not a story concept as it merely lists two events.
Read the sections labeled “Formula” and “Examples”, then read some example loglines here on the site and learn from the reviews.
Good luck!
See lessA family member is involved in an accident, but it is covered up. A few years later, the man who now runs an escort club is again involved in a mysterious incident.
May I suggest you read the training materials on this site? This is not a story concept as it merely lists two events. Read the sections labeled "Formula" and "Examples", then read some example loglines here on the site and learn from the reviews. Good luck!
May I suggest you read the training materials on this site? This is not a story concept as it merely lists two events.
Read the sections labeled “Formula” and “Examples”, then read some example loglines here on the site and learn from the reviews.
Good luck!
See lessAfter the death of their father 4 children must face their abusive mother and expose her lies and abuse if they want to have a chance at a happy life.
On the surface, the logline follows a clear structure, which makes it fairly easy to read. You may find a way to avoid the repetition of abusive/abuse, and add a comma after 'father'. Because of the "and ... and", I would probably also put a comma after the second 'abuse'. That would make it a tad eRead more
On the surface, the logline follows a clear structure, which makes it fairly easy to read.
You may find a way to avoid the repetition of abusive/abuse, and add a comma after ‘father’. Because of the “and … and”, I would probably also put a comma after the second ‘abuse’. That would make it a tad easier for me.
In terms of the story, I am not gripped by it because there is no clear point of view. “4 children” is too vague, as I don’t have any particular character to engage with. At the very least, a logline needs to give us some detail about the main character, so we can get a feel for them.
Finally, “face their abusive mother and expose her lies” is not a cinematic goal. It lacks a definitive ending, so it is hard to visualise what the end of this movie could look like.
Great loglines allow us to visualise in our mind what the film would look and feel like.
I hope this all helps!
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