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MY THIRD TRY: To stop a likely nuclear war among earthlings, a space alien whose race wants future control of an un-radiated planet, demands that all nukes be disassemble now or else NO electricity for a decade.
While I agree with the two reviews so far, this part is revealing and seems to be real story: >>In a nutshell, the ET takes her human female friend to her planet where she experiences culture clashes and battles. Is this most of Act II? >>The earthling helps save her ET friend?s world WhRead more
While I agree with the two reviews so far, this part is revealing and seems to be real story:
>>In a nutshell, the ET takes her human female friend to her planet where she experiences culture clashes and battles.
Is this most of Act II?
>>The earthling helps save her ET friend?s world
When does this happen? Save from what?
>> and now the ET helps to save the earth.
If most of the story is about the woman on the alien planet and this part is Act III, then it doesn’t need to go in the logline. It may even be the denouement in the script instead of Act III.
See lessWhen an emotionally volatile tachycardic gets enhanced primal senses from his condition, he must learn to hone his senses to stop a rich influential man from taking his abilities and taking over the city. (revised edition round 1)
Same thoughts as Mike. I get a Daredevil impression from primal senses, but without enough of a connection to a fast heart rate. "Emotionally volatile" is interesting in its own right, but hard to see the point of it with everything else. My two cents.
Same thoughts as Mike.
I get a Daredevil impression from primal senses, but without enough of a connection to a fast heart rate.
“Emotionally volatile” is interesting in its own right, but hard to see the point of it with everything else.
My two cents.
See lessAfter falling in debt to a crime family, a cocky mechanic is forced to strip stolen cars for an auto-garage, but when his love interest is killed in a hit-and-run caused by the family’s erratic nephew, he turns the family against itself to seek vengeance and escape the debt.
Great start. I like revenge stories and especially when there's something fresh about them.>>a cocky mechanicWhat's the intent behind cocky? A guy taking revenge indirectly doesn't sound cocky and he doesn't feel so ironic in that predicament. With the predicament he's in and the indirect planRead more
Great start. I like revenge stories and especially when there’s something fresh about them.
>>a cocky mechanic
What’s the intent behind cocky? A guy taking revenge indirectly doesn’t sound cocky and he doesn’t feel so ironic in that predicament. With the predicament he’s in and the indirect plan, a significant flaw doesn’t even feel necessary. Was it considered to go with a trait or talent that would shed light on how he would turn the family against itself? In other words, to differentiate this more from the first Punisher movie.
>>After falling in debt to a crime family,
>>is forced to strip stolen cars for an auto-garage,
These can be combined and shortened since the real hook starts when the love interest is killed.
>>to seek vengeance and escape the debt.
Escaping the debt is understood with the vengeance.
Does it pay specifying the main antag?
My two cents.
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