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"A young girl disappears from her home and a body is found days later. When one of her friends receives a letter from her supposedly dead friend, events start to get twisted.."
You've mentioned the inciting incident in the logline when (like the others have said above) it is far more important to give us more detail about the protagonist and their goal. You haven't told us anything about how the protagonist decides to approach the situation once receiving the letter. I finRead more
You’ve mentioned the inciting incident in the logline when (like the others have said above) it is far more important to give us more detail about the protagonist and their goal. You haven’t told us anything about how the protagonist decides to approach the situation once receiving the letter. I find the ‘events start to get twisted’ bit unhelpful, and the … at the end sort of implies that the story just trails off.
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