Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
  • About
  • Questions
  • Answers
  • Best Answers
  1. Posted: April 25, 2019In: Thriller

    In 1961, a British double agent, living under a new alias, must thwart a corrupt former colleague who threatens to expose his existence to a secret organisation of Nazis, unless he takes part in his complex game of human chess.

    thedarkhorse Samurai
    Added an answer on May 2, 2019 at 9:16 pm

    Pilot logline: In 1961, a British double agent is blackmailed with his past crimes by a duplicitous former colleague, and forced to confront some old faces, as he becomes a pawn in the entrapment of a suspected Nazi war criminal, now an American jet-setter living on the French Riviera. A Nazi is notRead more

    Pilot logline: In 1961, a British double agent is blackmailed with his past crimes by a duplicitous former colleague, and forced to confront some old faces, as he becomes a pawn in the entrapment of a suspected Nazi war criminal, now an American jet-setter living on the French Riviera.

    A Nazi is not the protagonist.?

    The protagonist a former double agent.

    He is a British thief (a rags to riches, Catch Me if you Can chameleon) who was thrown into a Parisian prison when the Germans invaded. To save himself and get out of jail – he agrees to spy for the Germans (whether he is genuinely on their side or plans to sabotage their mission is left mysterious/ambiguous. That’s what makes the character work).

    However, on his first assignment – he is captured and turned into a British spy. The interesting thing with the character is the ambiguity – as sometimes he comes across as a selfless patriot and sometimes a self-serving opportunist. We’re frequently made to question “necessary evils” and “the greater good” – both ongoing themes. He is, from the start… a libertine. A rogue. A free agent. A maverick, etc. A man who doesn’t like being controlled and likes his freedom.

    The thing he’s haunted by – he fell madly in love with a German agent and then killed her to complete an assignment. He betrayed his German superiors big time and his British superiors had to kill him off and give him a new alias. He has been retired, living a joyless existence, on the French Riviera when he’s summoned back to action and seduced into another mission – by the thrill and the excitement. He is, in his words, “made” for this kind of work.

    Later on, he is betrayed by his British superior (who, we don’t know just yet, if he’s a free agent or working for someone else, etc) and literally made into a human puppet. However, the protagonist, at the end of the episode, is revealed to be playing his own game and says that “he is no one’s puppet”. He is going to play the American expatriate, his Nazi/German friends, his British superior/the government agent against each other. Get the girl and run away with the gold (as you do).

    In my latest rewrite – I’m keeping his backstory mysterious. We learn about him as it goes. The others are also complex.

    What’s interesting about his American counterpart (the American expatriate and suspected Nazi war criminal) – he is a double agent, as well. He also made some terrible heart-wrenching decisions for “the greater good”. However, he is tragic. He’s the kind of guy who would do anything to save his tail. He even sacrifices his daughter (who he stole when she was a baby) to save himself (or so we think). ?Once again – there’s more to the story. Francis is the kinda guy who’d partner up with whoever is the most powerful person in the room. He’s weak and would do anything to survive (or so we think).

    He’s being blackmailed by his former German superiors the same way our protagonist is being blackmailed by his British superiors. They are alike. However, Francis had to make far more heart wrenching decisions. It is forever ambiguous. A grey area. Maybe his crimes are a “necessary evil” and for “the greater good”? Perhaps he had to kill someone to save others? However – all we know is that he can’t stop drinking and is desperate to forget. (I’ve considered a twist being perhaps he’s still a double agent and leaking information to the good guys – however he’s sacrificed his soul/life in the process).

    Anyways – there’s a lot of layers and a lot of patsies. A lot of reveals. A lot of sacrifice.

    The main villain is a government agent who is nameless (his name is Mr. X). Smug, arrogant and an omniscient presence throughout. I think he’s terrifying being nameless. He’s also a nod to Donald Sutherland’s character in JFK.

    But yeah – what did everyone think of the logline above? Is it a little more proactive?

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  2. Posted: April 25, 2019In: Crime

    In 1977, a reformed ex-con, desperate to pay for his mother?s hospital bill, returns to his old life of drug dealing but soon learns the game has changed and the players are more ruthless than before.

    thedarkhorse Samurai
    Added an answer on May 2, 2019 at 8:38 pm

    Thanks for the feedback guys. Yeah I love the 70s disco drug scene portrayed in ?Carlito?s Way? (clearly an influence). I haven?t seen ?American Gangster? which is also set during that time. I really want it to be a love letter to that late 70s New York that doesn?t exist anymore - trash in the sideRead more

    Thanks for the feedback guys.

    Yeah I love the 70s disco drug scene portrayed in ?Carlito?s Way? (clearly an influence). I haven?t seen ?American Gangster? which is also set during that time. I really want it to be a love letter to that late 70s New York that doesn?t exist anymore – trash in the sidewalk, violence and gangs, etc. The dark, gritty NY you?d see in ?The Warriors? or ?Saturday Night Fever? or ?Cruising?.

    Hmm – yeah. In my bible for this, I say ?struggling to keep his head above water in a sea of old yet duplicitous acquaintances and ruthless (and more violent) younger thugs?. A mouthful.?Wordy.?

    What?s compelling about character/conflict?

    Hmm – spoiler alert I figured at the end, he kills his troublesome best friend (in a nod to ?Of Mice and Men? as well as to some extent, ?Boardwalk Empire? and ?The Godfather Part II?). I was hoping it would be a slow process of a man steadily turning to the dark side who eventually turns into the monster he grew up hating (a neighbourhood gangster – who you guessed it, he kills).

    The main hook for me was the time/place.?

    Also – I imagined him to have a devoted yet complex friendship with his childhood buddy – and their friendship is investigated with flashbacks throughout so that ending (when he finally puts him down) is really lacerating.

    Again – I?ve written this one already. And it got one request overall. I kind of wanted to do something that was in the? background something of a social drama and investigated?. drugs, crime, prostitution, female inequality, racism, etc. There was a lot of racism in the first draft and I toned it down (I chickened out). I also wanted to do something about America and how it?s made up of so many different backgrounds ? and how everyone is going after the American Dream?

    I suppose the main character swings between two worlds: the dirty gutter of Brooklyn (his home and where he belongs, a very close-knit warm place) and the false glamour of Manhattan (where he dreams of being a somebody but soon finds himself disillusioned with).

    A quick tweaking??(adding klh099’s notes).

    In 1977, a reformed ex-con, desperate to pay for his mother?s hospital bill, returns to his old life of drug dealing but soon finds himself having to become more ruthless in order to survive a game where the players are more violent and duplicitous than before.

    Like someone said earlier for one of the earlier loglines, I’m not sure how relevant the Blackout is to be included. It’s certainly a big part of the show. The same way – “The Son of Sam” and the “Welcome to Fear City” pamphlet is.

    Pilot logline: In 1977, New York City, a reformed ex-con agrees to help his childhood best friend, an unstable war veteran, pay back a murderous gangster – by tagging along during a mad, crazy night of drug dealing.

    ( A nod to “Bringing out the Dead” and “After Hours”).

    Jack Whitman – A reformed ex-con struggling to start again and reconcile with his former flame as well as win back his parents. After fourteen years in prison, Jack is a weary, distrustful man who is still somewhat devoted and protective towards his best friends, Bobby and Mary Sue. Both of which are much different now.

    Bobby Quintana – Jack’s childhood best friend. The black sheep. The irresponsible force of nature. Bobby is a hybrid of Ratzo Rizzo and Johnny Boy. The human ashtray and clown who is perennially in trouble, and who is desperate to clean up his act and defeat his drug addiction and PTSD so that he can join his girlfriend and young son in Florida.

    Mary Sue Ashley – A single mom, waitress and aspiring actress. Mary Sue is Jack’s childhood sweetheart who he has a tumultuous relationship with. An “incident” in their childhood has left an indelible mark on their lives and psyches (it is revealed they were abducted by a ?neighbourhood paedophile and kept in his dark basement for 14 days – which will add another dimension to surviving the Blackout of 77 as well as navigating a world where characters ?are incredibly distrustful to one another and everyone is pretending to be something they are not). Lastly, Mary Sue is still going after her dream of show business success and fame (and at any cost) – and one episode will explore Mary Sue’s foray into the casting couch.

    Okay that’s it. If nothing else, is the above tweaked logline any good? A bit more juicier?

    Cheers everyone.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  3. Posted: April 25, 2019In: Western

    During a harsh winter, a frontiersman with a violent past must protect the family he?s taking refuge with from an unscrupulous company that wants their land.

    thedarkhorse Samurai
    Added an answer on May 2, 2019 at 7:48 pm

    Hey guys. Thanks for the feedback...Well, I?ve already written it so I?m not changing anything too much. I?m not sure about including Great Die-Up. I dunno how well known it is nowadays but I agree ?harsh winter? can be quite generic and meh. (Worse case scenario, they can google it).It?s set over CRead more

    Hey guys. Thanks for the feedback…

    Well, I?ve already written it so I?m not changing anything too much. I?m not sure about including Great Die-Up. I dunno how well known it is nowadays but I agree ?harsh winter? can be quite generic and meh. (Worse case scenario, they can google it).

    It?s set over Christmas 1886. I did my research into the blizzard and it would stop for hours at a time. My antagonist is a real driven, masochistic, macho guy who pushes his posse is ?keep on pushing? – it’s not impossible for them to be running around outside during a blizzard but certainly crazy which sums him up.

    It?s mad I?ve done so many loglines – I?m genuinely unsure which one is the best. I?ve probably had requests as well as criticisms from each of them. It?s mad ha.

    Okay? how about…

    A frontiersman with a violent past must protect the family he?s taking refuge with from a corrupt U.S. Marshall and his posse, who under orders from an unscrupulous company, wants their land; all set against the backdrop of the Great Die-Up 1886.

    (Admittedly – this does sound like one of my earlier ones which makes me wonder if I’m going backwards ha).

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
1 … 99 100 101 102 103 … 107

Sidebar

Stats

  • Loglines 8,000
  • Reviews 32,189
  • Best Reviews 629
  • Users 3,715

screenwriting courses

Adv 120x600

aalan

Explore

  • Signup

Footer

© 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.