1. Posted: March 20, 2020In:

    When a playboy becomes entangled with a set of polyamorous, jet-setting nomads – he falls in love with an unavailable woman, whilst a suicidal nubile teen, falls madly in love with him.

    thedarkhorse Samurai

    Firstly - I wasn't sure if we could post more than one logline. I did recieve an email a month ago about doing one at a time. However, I couldn't find anything on the site about it. I apologize in advance.Secondly - I think this logline might be too busy. Too much going on. The relationship betweenRead more

    Firstly – I wasn’t sure if we could post more than one logline. I did recieve an email a month ago about doing one at a time. However, I couldn’t find anything on the site about it. I apologize in advance.

    Secondly – I think this logline might be too busy. Too much going on. The relationship between polyamory, love, sex and relationships (the prison of relationships, the freedom of polyamory, etc.) – is certainly something I’d like to explore.

    This is a very rough working logline ha. I’m curious to know what people think and if the idea resonates with them.

    Also – you could probably chop “a set of”.

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  2. Posted: March 20, 2020In:

    After they spend a night together falling in love, a couple part ways because of WWII, and years later, the man, presumed dead, turns up at her hometown to win her back – only to discover she is married.

    Best Answer
    thedarkhorse Samurai

    Just playing with some old loglines. This one is from 2014 and I wanted the story to cut between two timelines - 1939 and 1955.Also - you could probably chop "together".

    Just playing with some old loglines. This one is from 2014 and I wanted the story to cut between two timelines – 1939 and 1955.

    Also – you could probably chop “together”.

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  3. Posted: March 13, 2020In:

    ‘Off The Grid’ After moving off the grid, bickering newlyweds accidentally kill the creepy neighbors kid and now must work together to escape the families vengeful wrath.

    Best Answer
    thedarkhorse Samurai

    Hi Dusty.A very quick take on it...When newlyweds accidentally kill the creepy neighbours son, they must fight to stay alive, as the family begins a campaign of revenge.I wasn't sure how necessary "bickering" and "must work together" is to the logline. Perhaps for the script. I mean - all newlywedsRead more

    Hi Dusty.

    A very quick take on it…

    When newlyweds accidentally kill the creepy neighbours son, they must fight to stay alive, as the family begins a campaign of revenge.

    I wasn’t sure how necessary “bickering” and “must work together” is to the logline. Perhaps for the script. I mean – all newlyweds bicker, it’s not a big enough thing to put in there. “must work together” goes without saying. It seems like excess stuff for the reader to carry.

    I dunno – I thought “son” was more primal and personal and specific than “kid”.

    I considered putting? “relentless” in front of campaign. Sounds pretty intense as it is.

    Admittedly – there’s something wrong with this logline. I can’t put my finger on it. You could perhaps get rid of “creepy”?

    The fact this family is getting revenge says more about than an adjective could.

    Perhaps get rid of “begins”? and just do “campaigns to get revenge”.

    ?

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