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  1. Posted: November 7, 2019In: Family

    When a charming con artist settles down with a sweet yet gullible woman, he must spend Christmas with her dysfunctional family – and unexpectedly experiences the concept of family for the first time.

    thedarkhorse Samurai
    Added an answer on November 7, 2019 at 8:52 pm

    Very long version: (yeah I'm gonna try to get this to under 25 words. Still playing around with it.) Trapped in his old home town during a snowstorm, a charming con artist settles down with a sweet yet gullible woman for the holidays, but must spend Christmas with her dysfunctional family - and unexRead more

    Very long version: (yeah I’m gonna try to get this to under 25 words. Still playing around with it.)

    Trapped in his old home town during a snowstorm, a charming con artist settles down with a sweet yet gullible woman for the holidays, but must spend Christmas with her dysfunctional family – and unexpectedly falls in love with the family.

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  2. Posted: November 7, 2019In: Family

    When a charming con artist settles down with a sweet yet gullible woman, he must spend Christmas with her dysfunctional family – and unexpectedly experiences the concept of family for the first time.

    thedarkhorse Samurai
    Added an answer on November 7, 2019 at 8:47 pm

    I hope the conflict is innate here. Clearly he'll have to unmask himself. Clearly he falls for the family. Not so clearly he begins as a Scrooge-like figure and softens up. Longer version: - why he can't escape... Trapped in a small town because of snow storm, a charming con artist settles down withRead more

    I hope the conflict is innate here. Clearly he’ll have to unmask himself. Clearly he falls for the family. Not so clearly he begins as a Scrooge-like figure and softens up.

    Longer version: – why he can’t escape…
    Trapped in a small town because of snow storm, a charming con artist settles down with a sweet, wholesome woman and her family for the holidays – and unexpectedly?finds his first chance to have a real family.

    I think it’s too much to make the sweet wholesome woman a mark. I think it’s likely he’s trapped and she takes him in and they slowly fall for each other. Yet he’s still pretending to be someone else.

    (I think as a con artist, he’s more of a loner. He’s spent his whole life cutting off any emotional ties/attachments, etc. He’s less of a predator and more a Frank Abagnale figure. Came from a broken home. Always running. Yet eventually winds up back in his home town.)

    It’s sentimental – because it’s his old home town. There’s some scars here. Perhaps he finds his old house? Perhaps revisits the place where he first became a con artist or where he was made into one?

    Stakes: he could lose a family he grows to love and who grows to love him.
    Conflict: he’s essentially lying to everyone.

    What do you think?

    I’ll probably need a few hours to shave off some words I think. There’s potentially something here.

    (This is when you tell me it’s already a Hallmark film ha.)

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  3. Posted: November 7, 2019In: Thriller

    Two sworn enemies become trapped in an isolated house, fighting off violent locals, after one of them is accused of a hit and run.

    thedarkhorse Samurai
    Added an answer on November 7, 2019 at 5:20 am

    24 words I think. The must (the goal) is there - to stay alive or die. The stakes are clear - again, to stay alive. The inciting incident is here. I want to do something about how one act of violence leads to another. Hopefully "after one of them is accused of a hit and run" is enough. Reminds me ofRead more

    24 words I think.

    The must (the goal) is there – to stay alive or die.

    The stakes are clear – again, to stay alive.

    The inciting incident is here.

    I want to do something about how one act of violence leads to another. Hopefully “after one of them is accused of a hit and run” is enough. Reminds me of First Blood.

    I’m keeping it mysterious why these guys are enemies – and trying to keep it lean.

    I’m leading with “two sworn enemies” and leaving the I.I. for the end. Reads better.

    “Two sworn enemies” keeps them mysterious. I think the fact they’re enemies or there’s friction – suggests at any moment one might betray the other or give up the other.

    I dunno – this is the most deliberately opaque this idea has got thus far ha. It’s lean though.

    I got rid of some of the specificity (“man who accidentally killed his wife”) to keep it lean. Put back “isolated” to help paint the picture.

    What do you think?

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