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The hunt for a spy takes a twist when an innocent bystander in a public park is mistaken for a government agent. (short film)
"When on his lunch break a courier finds himself embroiled in an International Spy hunt when the hunted spy mistakes him for the government agent on his tail." Above is just an example of getting it more specific - fwiw n'all dat.... Just giving the 'innocent bystander' an occupation etc... With youRead more
“When on his lunch break a courier finds himself embroiled in an International Spy hunt when the hunted spy mistakes him for the government agent on his tail.”
Above is just an example of getting it more specific – fwiw n’all dat…. Just giving the ‘innocent bystander’ an occupation etc… With your most recent draft you have plenty of words up your sleeve — why not use ’em?
Anyway — it sounds cool. Sounds like it has feature potential…
See lessThe hunt for a spy takes a twist when an innocent bystander in a public park is mistaken for a government agent. (short film)
I agree with what's already been said above -- My main issue is that I'm confused as to the scenario and the roles of the main characters (which kinda means I'm just confused...); is the 'Government Agent' the hunter of the spy? As in, does the innocent bystander get mistaken for the Spy Hunter? IfRead more
I agree with what’s already been said above — My main issue is that I’m confused as to the scenario and the roles of the main characters (which kinda means I’m just confused…); is the ‘Government Agent’ the hunter of the spy? As in, does the innocent bystander get mistaken for the Spy Hunter? If so, what is at stake for the innocent bystander (who does come across as the Main character ATM)?
If the REAL spy hunter is the protag, regardless of the fact they get the least amount of screentime, i think the logline would benefit from leading with them.
Also — I think getting more specific around “…takes a twist…” would help with a quick understanding of this short… I’m left not knowing what specifically the ‘twist’ is… yes, a case of mistaken identity… but what impact does this have upon the hunt for a spy?
Best of luck kbfilmworks.
See lessWhen a tsunami wipes out the island where a villainous pirate?s treasure is buried, he must turn to more conventional methods to fund his retirement.
I like the set-up to the premise but the second half is vague -- it reads as a 'tagline'. I think you need to tell us what the "...more conventional methods" specifically are... otherwise we don't really know what this story is about/ what the main GAG is. Best of luck with it.
I like the set-up to the premise but the second half is vague — it reads as a ‘tagline’. I think you need to tell us what the “…more conventional methods” specifically are… otherwise we don’t really know what this story is about/ what the main GAG is.
Best of luck with it.
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