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Hounded by debt collectors, a brassy small-time hustler solves her money woes by becoming a debt collector herself.
Hi dpg, I've not seen the film, but your logline looks totally solid. ?Being devil's advocate, could you get rid of "Hounded by debt collectors" and replace "money woes" with something that sums the debt collectors up? ?Not that it needs it, just an exercise to see if it could be shaved down to 14 wRead more
Hi dpg,
I’ve not seen the film, but your logline looks totally solid. ?Being devil’s advocate, could you get rid of “Hounded by debt collectors” and replace “money woes” with something that sums the debt collectors up? ?Not that it needs it, just an exercise to see if it could be shaved down to 14 words! LOL 🙂
Regards
See lessTrix
When a visiting dignitary is murdered, the na?ve youngest prince of a fairy-tale kingdom becomes the Watson to a Holmes-like detective. But, when the detective is also killed, the prince must solve the mystery on his own before the situation escalates into all-out war.
Hi Todd, Sorry, I missed your MPR on my first read (not because it wasn't clear, just because I must have been only 1 coffee down that morning! LOL)... totally understandable for a longer logline with an MPR. ?Having said that, so far I still prefer your second logline (another thought I had with thRead more
Hi Todd,
Sorry, I missed your MPR on my first read (not because it wasn’t clear, just because I must have been only 1 coffee down that morning! LOL)… totally understandable for a longer logline with an MPR. ?Having said that, so far I still prefer your second logline (another thought I had with the first was that a Holmes character is going to understandably draw a lot of limelight and it’s hard to lose a main protagonist character half way through the film (not that it can’t be done, it’s just hard to do well).
I do prefer the princess to the prince 😉 and I really like the idea of them being betrothed… something neither of them probably want, but it’s being arranged to stop a war between both nations… and of course, if the princess has been vocal about her dislike of him (on account of her being naive to court politics) then she’s also likely to be a suspect…love that and there’s tonnes of conflict!
I’m still not getting the leap from his death to warring nations though… It doesn’t have to be obvious, but it should be clear and less of a guess I’m feeling. ?Playing with the addition of an MPR, how about something along the lines of:
A?wilful but na?ve fairy-tale princess must convince rulers to release her?from the arranged marriage intended to bring peace to?their feuding nations, but when her betrothed prince is murdered, she must clear her name and expose the real killer?before the situation escalates into all-out war.
It’s probably too long… but just playing with options before you whittle it down 😉
See lessWhen a visiting dignitary is murdered, the na?ve youngest prince of a fairy-tale kingdom becomes the Watson to a Holmes-like detective. But, when the detective is also killed, the prince must solve the mystery on his own before the situation escalates into all-out war.
HI Todd, I like the unusual idea of a murder mystery being set in a fairy tale kingdom. ?Are you going to subvert the norms of 'fairy tale' or do you actually mean fantasy kingdom? ?My initial thoughts are: Watson is an astute and brilliant doctor - I take it the prince would also be intelligent, ifRead more
HI Todd,
I like the unusual idea of a murder mystery being set in a fairy tale kingdom. ?Are you going to subvert the norms of ‘fairy tale’ or do you actually mean fantasy kingdom? ?My initial thoughts are:
Regards
See lessTrix