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A BIOLOGICAL WEAPON MANUFACTURING COMPANY WHICH DISGUISE AS A PHARMACTICAL COMPANY TEST THEIR WORKS ON PEOPLE WITH DISASTEROUS EFFECT.
Good job keeping it to a sentence. It'd be good if you write what the "disastrous effect" is, and I like the idea, but it sounds a bit too plain. You should include a protagonist in your logline, like maybe an employee who's job it is to keep it contained? Something that gives a clear idea of who thRead more
Good job keeping it to a sentence. It’d be good if you write what the “disastrous effect” is, and I like the idea, but it sounds a bit too plain.
See lessYou should include a protagonist in your logline, like maybe an employee who’s job it is to keep it contained? Something that gives a clear idea of who the audience (and whoever might hear the pitch) is going to root for.
AFTER A LONG ABSENSE FROM THE TSREET ACOP GOES BACK TO THE STREET TO DISCOVER A NEWLY INVENTED DRUG THE CRAZY IMPULSE DRUG WHICH MAKE PEOPLE BEHAVE STRANGELY.THE STRANGE BEHAVIOR LATER BECOME A TREAT TO THE CUMMUNITY.
Definitely want to clean this up grammatically. Use spell-check and keep the logline down to a sentence! Also you should write what the drug does to people in the logline. That'll give it something that draws you in, and it makes it stand out from the rest of the "biological weapon gone wrong".
Definitely want to clean this up grammatically. Use spell-check and keep the logline down to a sentence!
Also you should write what the drug does to people in the logline. That’ll give it something that draws you in, and it makes it stand out from the rest of the “biological weapon gone wrong”.
See lessPeter leaves home to experience the life going in the street.After going through rough times,he realize that he does belong to the street.
A couple of pointers - It sounds a bit plain, as if it's been done before. You might want to add in something that gives it a HOOK, that makes it stand out - You should condense it into a single sentence. Use a comma, and its okay if the sentence is a bit long.
A couple of pointers
– It sounds a bit plain, as if it’s been done before. You might want to add in something that gives it a HOOK, that makes it stand out
See less– You should condense it into a single sentence. Use a comma, and its okay if the sentence is a bit long.