Posted: 2012-11-21T20:01:55+10:00 In:

A BIOLOGICAL WEAPON MANUFACTURING COMPANY WHICH DISGUISE AS A PHARMACTICAL COMPANY TEST THEIR WORKS ON PEOPLE WITH DISASTEROUS EFFECT.

THE MASSACRE

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    4 Reviews

    1. Good job keeping it to a sentence. It’d be good if you write what the “disastrous effect” is, and I like the idea, but it sounds a bit too plain.
      You should include a protagonist in your logline, like maybe an employee who’s job it is to keep it contained? Something that gives a clear idea of who the audience (and whoever might hear the pitch) is going to root for.

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    2. Singularity

      I agree with vivek, the way you wrote the logline it sounds as if the Biological Weapon Manufacturing Company is the lead character.

      Also, the way it’s written, it doesn’t distinguish itself from the Resident Evil movies. You should add something in the logline that gives it unique hook.

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    3. Singularity

      How about this:

      When a new designer drug appears on the street, a veteran cop must battle a deceptive pharmaceutical company before his entire community becomes addicted.”

      You don’t have to use the word ” addicted” if that isn’t correct. For instance you could say… “before his entire community is turned into zombies” or whatever bad thing the drug does to change the people who take it.

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    4. Logliner

      John, you have posted 3 loglines. Can you please – in the spirit of this site – review 2 loglines for each (i.e. 8 loglines in total)?

      Please also post loglines in normal, mixed case. ALL CAPS LOOKS VERY BAD.

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