1. Posted: August 7, 2020In:

    After being disgracefully fired for cheating from his billion-dollar startup, penniless maverick joins his ex-girlfriend’s bankrupt company to regain his lost glory

    Best Answer
    vivien Penpusher

    Thank you for the clarification. I understand your story better now. I the logline you only include the essentials because you only have 35 words max to tell your story. Beyond that, people will lose interest. Here is my rough rewrite which includes the essential elements: main character, major evenRead more

    Thank you for the clarification. I understand your story better now. I the logline you only include the essentials because you only have 35 words max to tell your story. Beyond that, people will lose interest.

    Here is my rough rewrite which includes the essential elements: main character, major event, the dramatic need of the main character and the obstacles that may prevent him from achieving his goal.

    “When a maverick billionnaire entrepreneur becomes penniless for his unscrupoulous dealings, he is driven to turn around a near-bankrupt company hoping to reverse his fortune but is facing management’s hostility against his business ethics.” (34 words)

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  2. Posted: August 7, 2020In:

    After being disgracefully fired for cheating from his billion-dollar startup, penniless maverick joins his ex-girlfriend’s bankrupt company to regain his lost glory

    vivien Penpusher

    The story sounds interesting. It could be a comedy as well. I have a couple of questions: 1. What does the maverick expect from joining a bankrupt company? Does he intend to turn it around? 2. What may prevent him from regaining his lost glory? 3. Why is he penniless? He had a billion dollar startupRead more

    The story sounds interesting. It could be a comedy as well. I have a couple of questions:

    1. What does the maverick expect from joining a bankrupt company? Does he intend to turn it around?

    2. What may prevent him from regaining his lost glory?

    3. Why is he penniless? He had a billion dollar startup before he got fired. It’s logical that he’d still have a good amount of money when he was fired unless he was incarcerated and forced to pay a hefty fine for his crime.

    In a logline you are clear about the character (the penniless maverick), the inciting incident (he’s fired from his job), and his dramatic need (to regain his lost glory). What’s missing is the conflict/antagonistic force (person) that may prevent him from achieving his goal. Without this element, you don’t have a story.

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  3. Posted: August 5, 2020In:

    When her brother suddenly dies, an anxiety prone sister is forced to hatch an elaborate scheme to conceal the tragedy from her suspicious mother who stops at nothing to unravel the truth.

    vivien Penpusher

    Thank you for sharing the story about the Korean film maker. If I decide to write about a Vietnamese immigrant family, I'll definitely say so in the logline. Originally my family immigrated to Australia and I immigrated to California but I live in Australia now. The Vietnamese community is strong inRead more

    Thank you for sharing the story about the Korean film maker. If I decide to write about a Vietnamese immigrant family, I’ll definitely say so in the logline.

    Originally my family immigrated to Australia and I immigrated to California but I live in Australia now. The Vietnamese community is strong in the US, especially in California, but is quite small in Australia. I am concerned about the lack of audience. Another concern is that Australian films are not popular on the world stage.

    Anyhow, I agree with you that there is an openness to ethnicity diverse films lately (Crazy Rich Asians, Farewell, the Big Sick (Pakistani-Australian, Ali’s Wedding (Iraqi-Australian)). I just need to find my own voice.

    Thank you for your encouragement.

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