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An old, abusive slave owner switches body with his slave who gives him a taste of his own medicine
What is the inciting incident? Why would an abusive slave owner willing switch bodys with his slave? Or does something force the body switch? What you have given us is the setting. It might be good as a tagline. A logline, however, needs to succinctly convey the story's essential elements. Check outRead more
What is the inciting incident? Why would an abusive slave owner willing switch bodys with his slave? Or does something force the body switch?
What you have given us is the setting. It might be good as a tagline. A logline, however, needs to succinctly convey the story’s essential elements. Check out the Formula and Generator tabs at the top of the page.
See lessWhen a new film contest starts a group of egocentric childhood friends set out to make a movie, despite the fact that they know nothing about film making. But when the opportunity presents itself they are wiling to do whatever it takes to achieve their dreams.
In the first sentence, I don't understand how characterizing the protagonists as egocentric plays into the movie's plot. Do egocentric people maintain long term friendships from childhood, or are their friendships shallow and short?Aside from that, the second sentence contains mostly redundant inforRead more
In the first sentence, I don’t understand how characterizing the protagonists as egocentric plays into the movie’s plot. Do egocentric people maintain long term friendships from childhood, or are their friendships shallow and short?
Aside from that, the second sentence contains mostly redundant information and does not help us imagine what happens in the story. What is the main problem the group has to overcome? Is it the lack of money? Does everyone want the staring role in the film?
Finally, for every adventure a clique undertakes, someone in the group is the driving force. In your story that person will be the main character and loglines should be written from the viewpoint of the main character. Give us goal that for this person? is worth their striving for, even if it means pushing the rest of the group to do something they would not normally do.
For example:
When a broke, 21 year old avid movie goer learns of an amateur film contest whose first prize is an evening with Ryan Gosling, she rallies her childhood clique to make a film, but first they must raise the $250 entry fee.
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See lessBack in time
I like the premise, and I can imagine (or at least I think I can) where the story is headed. Now you need to condense the logline down to its essentials. Try to get it under 40 words.? Something like:When a hapless financier is haunted by the ghost of a little girl while working the deal of a lifetiRead more
I like the premise, and I can imagine (or at least I think I can) where the story is headed. Now you need to condense the logline down to its essentials. Try to get it under 40 words.? Something like:
When a hapless financier is haunted by the ghost of a little girl while working the deal of a lifetime, a beguiling spiritualist tells him he must first help the child return home. (33 words)
See less