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When her mother dies, a shy, 13-year-old girl loses her faith in God and contemplates suicide when the grief overwhelms her.
Assuming her mother dies at the end of Act I, something more must happen, you cannot leave her contemplating for the remainder of the film. What else is going on in the story? What event or person prevents her from suicide? (Don't even think about letting the girl go through with it.)
Assuming her mother dies at the end of Act I, something more must happen, you cannot leave her contemplating for the remainder of the film. What else is going on in the story? What event or person prevents her from suicide? (Don’t even think about letting the girl go through with it.)
See lessWhen Raju accidentaly falls into an abandoned deep tube well, chaos ensues as all efforts to rescue him seem to fail and the only thing he has to hold on to is hope.
When you say "Raju", I am not sure whether you mean a man or a little boy. In your previous logline you said "little boy" and it would be better to retain that phrase than using the boy's name. The bigger problem, however, is that if the boy is stuck in a tube well and cannot free himself, then he iRead more
When you say “Raju”, I am not sure whether you mean a man or a little boy. In your previous logline you said “little boy” and it would be better to retain that phrase than using the boy’s name.
The bigger problem, however, is that if the boy is stuck in a tube well and cannot free himself, then he is probably not the main character.? The main character is the person who rescues the boy, whether that be by individual effort or by organizing the rescue effort. The logline should be written from the point of view of the main character.
See lessIn a futuristic world in which aging is prevented through the extraction of other people?s cells, a woman goes on a reluctant murder spree to maintain her youth and her marriage for her daughter ? only to find out her husband has a fetish toward older women.
Sounds like a SciFi take on a vampire story. Interesting mix. I assume this technology is illegal, so how does the woman come to use it? I would drop the line about her husband liking older woman and make the mother 200 years old. (If she can prevent aging, why not?) The conflict you should build onRead more
Sounds like a SciFi take on a vampire story. Interesting mix.
I assume this technology is illegal, so how does the woman come to use it?
I would drop the line about her husband liking older woman and make the mother 200 years old. (If she can prevent aging, why not?)
The conflict you should build on is the one between mother and daughter:? If the mother slows her aging down via murder, won’t the daughter think something is funny when she turns 16 and her? mother still looks 25? Won’t the daughter be appalled when she learns what the mother has done? What if the daughter decides to turn her mother in for murder?
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