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During the preparation for the summer vacation, a girl “noha” was killed in mysterious circumstances and the investigator”soliman” and her friends are trying to discover the identity of the murder
The phrase "During the preparation for the summer vacation" does not tell us much and seems irrelevant to what follows. Drop the placeholders "noha" and "soliman" as loglines should not contain names. "killed in mysterious circumstances" -> murdered "discover the identity of the murder" -> finRead more
The phrase “During the preparation for the summer vacation” does not tell us much and seems irrelevant to what follows.
Drop the placeholders “noha” and “soliman” as loglines should not contain names.
“killed in mysterious circumstances” -> murdered
“discover the identity of the murder” -> find the murderer
What we learned then: a girl was murdered and an investigator and her friends are trying to find the murderer.
This is a generic plot. What is different in your story from all the other murder mysteries? Be specific.
See lessWhen all their attempts to achieve happiness fail, even when fulfilling family expectations, a highly disciplined hetero cis woman must deconstruct and find out what she wants in all aspects of her life even if that includes rediscovering her sexuality to be happy.
Since you explicitly tell us the woman is cis, I would expect the film to be about the woman's "sexual orientation" not her "sexuality". A woman can rediscover her sexuality (as did Anna Karenina) without questioning her sexual orientation. As Richiev asks, what is the inciting incident? Since thisRead more
Since you explicitly tell us the woman is cis, I would expect the film to be about the woman’s “sexual orientation” not her “sexuality”. A woman can rediscover her sexuality (as did Anna Karenina) without questioning her sexual orientation.
As Richiev asks, what is the inciting incident? Since this is a comedy, we expect she might misinterpret the incident or overact in some comedic fashion, but the event should be something specific, not general unhappiness with life.
See lessA group of students decide to throw one last party for their graduation aboard a luxury cruise liner, but the event slowly starts to turn into a nightmare when a stow away begins to wreak havoc on board, punishing the students for their past wrong doings.
"Punishing the students" -- be more specific. Does the stowaway kill them, or throw them overboard, or steal their clothes?"Past wrong doings" -- more specific. What exactly did they do? Let us know if? punishment fits the crime or is over the top."A group of students" -- How many? The complete highRead more
“Punishing the students” — be more specific. Does the stowaway kill them, or throw them overboard, or steal their clothes?
“Past wrong doings” — more specific. What exactly did they do? Let us know if? punishment fits the crime or is over the top.
“A group of students” — How many? The complete high school (or college) graduating class? Or just four or five? Who should we root for? Is one of them innocent of the past wrongs?
What is to keep the students from calling security? (Luxury cruise liners have their own security forces to protect passengers.)
See less