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DonArtPenpusher
Posted: October 14, 20192019-10-14T03:52:57+10:00 2019-10-14T03:52:57+10:00In: Student Loglines

When he discovers an abandoned project car, a former street racer , and young father must use the car to help his invert daughter get over her first breakup .

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    1. Scott Danzig Samurai
      2019-10-14T04:21:06+10:00Added an answer on October 14, 2019 at 4:21 am

      The biggest problem I see with this logline is, it’s hard to figure out what the car has to do with the daughter or her romantic issues.? I figure you’re going to have the father and daughter bonding, working together on the car, and then he or she wins a big race and she’s happy and expressive and the ex is forgotten?? ? I’d at least add some hint of how the car actually helps the daughter.

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    2. dpg Singularity
      2019-10-14T06:33:11+10:00Added an answer on October 14, 2019 at 6:33 am

      I, too, don’t see how the car has anything to do with the girl’s romantic problems.

      And I see another problem. Who owns the plot?? The father or the daughter?? Who is the protagonist?? As written the logline makes the father responsible for making the daughter feel better.

      But that doesn’t make sense psychologically or practically.? Ultimately, it’s up to the daughter to make herself feel better.? Only she can do the heavy lifting, the emotional dirty work required to grow past her romantic failure. The father can’t do that for her.? And he can’t do it to her: he can’t bully, bribe or B.S. her into making the authentic quantum leap in emotional maturity she needs to get past the problem and go forward in her life.? She must take ownership of the problem and work out her own solution in spite of — not because of — her father’s well-meaning intentions.

      (And “lesbian” is preferred to? “invert”? The latter term was the euphemistic and pejorative term used in the bad old days when sexual preferences for someone of the same sex was defined as deviant, abnormal.)

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