No Trespassin’
Two college students venture to a forgotten place to find the truth about it?s past. The horror they find there is as old as time, and just as hungry.
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Disqualified for poor grammar.
What separates your story from The Ruins? Try to include that unique element. Also, hungry as time?
Hi thank you for your reply. I shall try to work up a better logline to distinguish the unique element in my story. As far as the hungry as time, think about it…… time eats everything does it not?
With respect I’d take on the criticism about “hungry as time” rather than defend it. It’s a silly adage. Nothing about this logline tells me what the film is really about. Where? When? Who? What is the antagonistic force/creature? I’d use a “but” instead of splitting into two sentences as well, IMO FWIW.