Penpusher
Posted: 2020-08-12T08:56:45+10:00 In:

A young LAPD officer seeks the truth about her parent’s murder and to quiet horrific flashbacks from her childhood, but the search puts her in the sights of a serial killer.

A young LAPD officer seeks the truth about her parent’s murder and to quiet horrific flashbacks from her childhood, but the search puts her in the sights of a serial killer.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Logliner

      “young LAPD officer” -> evokes character traits: Naive (young), Conscientious (police work is tough), Reliable, Self-disciplined …

      “seeks the truth about her parent’s murder” -> makes me think of Oedipus Rex (but then he was his father’s murderer), but guessing I need to think more like the Batman backstory.

      “quiet horrific flashbacks from her childhood” … not sure where this fits within a logline structure. Neither inciting incident, nor necessary plot driving action …

      “the search puts her in the sights of a serial killer” -> Ok, the old Serial Killer antagonist. An evil character we usually only ever meet in movies, right!. … Guessing serial killer killed parent’s of LAPD cop, and our young female protagonist is propelled revenge motive into this story world….

      Reminds me of the film ‘Nevada Smith’ (1966). A logline sketch for this film might read:

      “When a young man of the 1890’s American West, witnesses the torture and brutal killing of this white father and American Indian mother, he must learn the survival skills necessary in order to seek revenge of the ruthless outlaws.”

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    2. Singularity

      I suggest the logline should more clearly establish a causal connection between her parent’s murder and her career as a cop; that is, the murder was her prime motivation for becoming a cop.

      And then…

      • 0
    3. Samurai

      Hi Rwhoy12,

      I’ll give this a go…

      The concept is interesting.

      INTENTION: must find the serial killer. * that’s the number goal.
      OBSTACLE: her own demons.

      Attempt 1:
      In the hunt for a serial killer, a young cop must confront her own past trauma, when she finds out it is same man who killed her parents.

      – The problem with this is it that it needs a hook to separate it from dozens of things just like it.

      Attempt 2:
      In the hunt for a mysterious serial killer, a young cop must confront her own past trauma, when she finds out the killer is her father, who years ago, killed her mother and disappeared.

      – Added a hook.
      – Made it a bit more primal.

      Good luck!

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