Logliner
Posted: 2016-03-23T08:01:57+10:00 In:

After she barely survives a suicide attempt, a teenager, believing death is the best solution, records her experiences on her transformative journey to reclaim her life.

After she barely survives a suicide attempt, a teenager, believing death is the best solution, records her experiences on her transformative journey to reclaim her life.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Mentor

      Hello,
      in my opinion you should build the logline writing about the main character journey.

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    2. Best Answer
      Singularity

      “Believing death is the best solution” I presume is the explanatory motivation for the suicide attempt.? But I think that goes without saying — why else would people attempt suicide if they didn’t think that suicide was the best solution, the only option left??? So, perhaps it’s redundant to say so.

      “Recording her experiences, et cetera….” is too general for an objective goal.? Her “transformative journey” needs to entail a specific objective goal she struggles for as a result of surviving? the suicide attempt.? (And looming in the story is the threat she’ll try suicide again if she fails or the stress of the struggle becomes unbearable.? People who survive a suicide attempt are at high risk of trying again.)

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    3. Best Answer
      Singularity

      One other thought.

      I?queried the loglines posted here with suicide as a dramatic element, came up with 38 hits.? It seems to be a?popular story element.

      So I?perceive a possible problem of product differentiation.? That is, what does this story have to say about suicide that hasn’t already been said?? Possibly over and over?? What makes?this story?stand out from the 37 other loglines with a suicidal element?

      ?Is there?some new?fresh?(and compassionate) insight into the “transformative journey” out of the dark abyss?into the light?

      fwiw

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