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cicpisces
Posted: May 28, 20122012-05-28T20:44:31+10:00 2012-05-28T20:44:31+10:00In: Public

Automated Companion

When Doug, a loner agoraphobic, purchases a female robot to help construct a tunnel to connect with an outhouse. He is unprepared for interrogation in his private life about the disappearance of his wife.

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    5 Reviews

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    1. holbrook99
      2012-05-28T23:07:33+10:00Added an answer on May 28, 2012 at 11:07 pm

      Your content garb, sounds better as a logline to me.

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    2. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2012-05-30T12:08:09+10:00Added an answer on May 30, 2012 at 12:08 pm

      I think you may have mixed around the logline and content grab text boxes.

      From the content grab it sounds like he is an anti hero MC first big hurdle for empathy there.
      A few questions to help clear up the logline:
      What is the main action?
      What is the POV of the story? – His digging the tunnel? Or his getting a companion? Or his avoiding persecution for the disappearance of his wife?

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    3. cicpisces
      2012-05-30T17:47:14+10:00Added an answer on May 30, 2012 at 5:47 pm

      Oops! Yes mixed up the boxes.
      Driving force is for him to find his wife. Part of that is to overcome his agoraphobia which is why he needs to build the tunnel, to take him that further step to joining society.
      The automated companion is the catalyst that helps him open up to the world and the truth about the disappearance of his wife.

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    4. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2012-05-30T18:04:33+10:00Added an answer on May 30, 2012 at 6:04 pm

      I see but it doesn’t come across that way in the logline.
      Perhaps define his goal to be finding his wife then the obstacle, before a new version of the logline?
      Sounds like the automated companion is more of a Scifi add on than an integral part of the story.

      Nir.

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    5. cicpisces
      2012-05-30T19:00:09+10:00Added an answer on May 30, 2012 at 7:00 pm

      The relationship with the automated companion is what brings Doug to final get to the truth. It is the catalyst needed where previously he had been held back by his mental frailties.

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