A white racist has a week to find & then bring her deceased grandfather’s secret black family to attend the reading of the will.

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Grave Watcher

7 reviews

In the last draft of the logline the stakes seem skewed - if she fails to achieve her goal a good thing happens.

So society as a whole stands to gain if she fails, as money goes to charity. More to the point, her goal is utterly superficial and selfish - she's trying to prevent money from going to charity, and put it in to her own pocket. We want her to fail,? and she's a white supremacist to boot!
Why, oh why, would the audience give her the time of day, or night, and care about her story - she's not an anti hero, she's outright unlikable.

Best to change her goal and motivation, she can be a racist but her reasons for change and motivation to take action need to relate to her flaw, be personal and not superficial.

What if the inciting incident is her discovery that she has a black half brother. Then she sets out to dispel him as family, but finds he is actually a great guy, who just so happen to be poverty stricken and destitute. They develop a sibling relationship and she changes her racist opinions as a result - make it about the human experience as appose to about money.

Upon learning of her late grandfathers secret, black son, a racist white woman has to bring the son to the will reading, which requires both of their attendance or the entire estate is donated to charity.

Upon learning of her late grandfathers secret, black son, a racist white woman has to bring the son to the will reading, which requires both of their attendance or the entire estate is donated to charity.

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