Logliner
Posted: 2016-09-19T00:32:13+10:00 In:

Two fed-up women take off for a weekend getaway but when one is almost raped and the other kills the guy the holiday turns into a road trip to escape to Mexico.

Two fed-up women take off for a weekend getaway but when one is almost raped and the other kills the guy the holiday turns into a road trip to escape to Mexico.
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    4 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      When a woman kills a man trying to rape her friend, a carefree weekend turns into a crime spree as the women race against the cops to the Mexican border.

      (30 words)

      Thelma & Louise ?(1991)

      A classic.

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    2. Singularity

      Good re work by DPG.

      It’s important to frame the plot between an event at the start of the story and en event at the end – the inciting incident and goal.

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    3. Singularity

      Hi SouthWestSuise

      Yes. You describe the inciting incident – killing the sexual assailant, too late in the logline. Everything before that event can be cut from the logline – it doesn’t directly describe the A plot.

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    4. Singularity

      As Nir Shelter said, SouthWestSusie, a logline should lead off with the inciting incident.

      One thing your logline was on the right track to do was to frame the reversal of fortune, their initial expectation/goal (weekend getaway) in contrast to how events play out (a ?road trip to escape…). ?I changed ?”road trip” to “crime spree” because that is what their flight becomes and it ?worsens their predicament, ?ultimately seals their fate.

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