A once-promising boxer turns to highline crime to save his cancer-stricken mother. But when an Aryan Brotherhood kingpin threatens the mother of his unborn child, he must confront the demons of his past – even if it means paying the ultimate price.

Agreed with Richiev and DPG.

Also, the structure of the logline should emulate the structure of the story. Currently, it starts with "...A once-promising boxer turns to highline crime...", but this happens well into the story, not at the very beginning of it. Point is, describe the events in the logline in the same order they play out in the story, i.e: After a kingpin threatens his wife, a once promising boxer must...

What Richiev said.

What's the real inciting incident? ?And what is the cause-and-effect relationship to the objective goal?

And what IS the objective goal, anyway? "Confront demons of his past' is vague, needs a translation into a specific choice of action to attain a specific goal.

What Richiev said.

What's the real inciting incident? ?And what is the cause-and-effect relationship to the objective goal?

And what IS the objective goal, anyway? "Confront demons of his past' is vague, needs a translation into a specific choice of action to attain a specific goal.