by Cameron Pattison · Showrunner · 1,295 pts
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Firstly, we have two brothers here who seem to be equally commitment-phobic losers. (They certainly are twins, I guess.) It's hard to care much about either, even in the context of a comedy.
Secondly, there is a plausibility problem here. Unless the twins have lived widely apart for many years and Sam has only recently come into town, why did not Sam notice Abby's specialness in all this time? As brothers of the same age, Sam would have had many occasions to see and speak to Eric's girlfriend in parties and so forth. Given the likely length of Sam's association with Abby, what would there be about her that would remain undiscovered by him?
Sure there may be cheap gags to be had with the brothers as they are (one, a boring dope, and the other, a slacker). And you can get a few more gags about them being twins too. But none of this makes for an engaging story. Particularly not a feature-length one.
Even for a goof-ball comedy, this kind of set up - where the intended 'dumper' falls for the girl he is supposed to be ditching - requires some kind of credible basis where the dumper has not had much opportunity to get to know the girl until put in the position of trying to dump her. The two brothers being twins short circuits this.
On the face of it, the story portrayed by this logline is so weak that I can only suppose that the script is loaded with clever lines and hilarious situations.
Steven Fernandez (Judge)
I dig the hell out of this idea, but I can't see how it's going to sustain 90 mins of screentime. What happens after the initial realization? Is that something that happens in act 3? I don't get a good sense of how this movie works. Also, is Eric the protagonist, or Sam?
What more can we say?
If I were Abby, I would send Eric to hell
Maybe just replace "decides" with "agrees"
In French, to be buttoned-down is "avoir un manche ? balai dans le cul" = "have a broomstick into asswhole" (it keeps your back straight)
