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fighter200Penpusher
Posted: July 30, 20132013-07-30T12:00:56+10:00 2013-07-30T12:00:56+10:00

After ten people go missing a 5th grade prodigy tries to figure out the case

Six Flags Mystery

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    3 Reviews

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    1. Icebreed2006
      2013-07-30T13:11:02+10:00Added an answer on July 30, 2013 at 1:11 pm

      I think you can write a better logline. The logline is kind of bland at the moment. Why are these ten people important? I think you should also have an antagonist in the logline. You can do it!

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    2. Richard Cosgrove
      2013-07-31T08:52:40+10:00Added an answer on July 31, 2013 at 8:52 am

      A film with a 10 year-old detective has definite marketable possibilities as a children’s film. But this logline leaves me wondering who the little detective will be going up against (include the antagonist), who vanished (other children? Parents?) and what makes the kid a prodigy (the kid could be a fabulous tennis player right now). The genre is also unclear: is this a serious thriller or a light-hearted kids’ film?

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    3. R J Penpusher
      2013-07-31T16:54:44+10:00Added an answer on July 31, 2013 at 4:54 pm

      Hi, I think the idea would be more engaging if there were stakes outlined and if the character’s flaw was explained. What sort of growth will the character experience, and how much time do they have. Keep it up. Stay well.

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