Logliner
Posted: 2017-06-03T18:02:04+10:00 In:

Reword #2: When she is abducted by her estranged father so she can be spared, a stubborn humanitarian must find a way to prevent him from killing most of humanity.

Reword #2: When she is abducted by her estranged father so she can be spared, a stubborn humanitarian must find a way to prevent him from killing most of humanity.
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    4 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      Spared from what?
      How will her father kill most of humanity?

      Adding this detail will help paint a picture for the reader

      • 0
    2. Singularity

      Agree with Richiev. ?The story needs to specify the method; it’s not an incidental detail.

      • 0
    3. Singularity

      As mentioned in previous posts, how humanity will be killed is important. What is it she is trying to stop?
      Her goal and actions are very important for the reader to understand the plot.

      • 0
    4. Logliner

      I still think that a word or two about what she will be spared from needs to be added.

      • 0