After his daughter's forced to spend the week at his job and discovers he's actually cool at work, a henpecked husband, begins to stand up for himself against his, domineering wife.

What’s Mr. Henpecked’s objective goal? What is he struggling to accomplish at work that daughter comes to appreciate, but his wife doesn’t?

What’s at stake if he fails at achieving his objective goal at work and/or if standing up on the homefront doesn’t work with his wife?

Hmm. I have questions with 2 aspects of this logline:

Credibility of the premise:

I can’t speak for the rest of the world, but it’s become common enough a practice for kids to accompany their parents on a day of wage-slavery in the U.S. But for a whole week? Why would a business allow such an extended disruption to normal routine and productivity?

And as far as I know, the practice is voluntary. I’ve never heard of it being compulsory for anyone at any time for any reason.

Nor do I see any dramatic necessity to make it compulsory. Based upon my own experience and observation of the practice, most kids go along with the practice because it enables them to get out of something even more boring than following their old man or old lady around the office — school.

The inciting incident:

You say that the inciting incident is “His daughter given the school assignment to go to work with him.” IMOH, the term inciting incident is bruited about in scriptwriting forums with a lack of clarity and precision as to what it actually entails. Here is my 2.5 cents worth:

I like to think of the inciting incident as comprising 2 distinct beats: 1] The inciting event and 2]The character’s reaction to that event. The event provides the stimulus, but the response is a function of the particular person’s unique character (motivational complex, temperament, mood, etc.)

And every person being unique, every person will respond (Beat #2) differently.

So it seems to me that while Beat #1 is necessary to kick off the plot (trudge to work with the old man), it is not sufficient, not the whole of the inciting incident. Beat #2 , the character’s response to the event, is the sin qua non that determines the direction of the plot.

It’s possible for the daughter to trudge long to work and not have an epiphany that changes her opinion of her father. (And my observation is that is the case with most kids: watching a parent wage-slave is b-o-r-i-n-g. They are looking at the clock hours before the parent, impatiently waiting
for the day to end.) No epiphany, no story.

But in your story, the inciting event (Beat #1) makes a positive impression; it triggers a transformative epiphany (Beat #2) in the daughter. Which is to say that it hooks into something lurking latently inside her head. (What is that?)

Further, as I understand it dramatic theory and praxi, the protagonist is supposed to be the central player in the inciting incident. He/she is the one directly transformed (Beat #2) by the inciting event (Beat #1). But in the scenario in your logline, it seems as if the daughter is the central player. She is the one transformed (Beat #2) by the event (Beat #1). The father’s transformation is collateral and consequential; it occurs indirectly and later because of her transformation.

So for me, the daughter is the most intriguing character in the logline. She’s the one who makes the plot happen — not the father. Hence, she gets my vote as the protagonist.

Not the way you conceive of it. But, fwiw, that’s my Beat #2 (reaction) to your Beat #1 (logline). No doubt, other people will have a different Beat #2 to the very same Beat #1.

Thanks for the info. But must the kid work for a parent?

Richiev:

I like Tony’s concept. This makes the marriage the stakes issue, the dad the stakes character. And I think it can be melded into your concept. That is, the daughter encourages and engineers his transformation so that he will stick up for himself, confront the wife.

Which raises the question: do you conceive that the marriage is worth saving? (Which requires a transformation on the part of the wife.) Or must it be sacrificed for the sake of the father’s growth and long term happiness?