Posted: 2013-10-13T14:37:55+10:00 In:

\"A skeptical young man frantically searches for the malevolent entity that took his father\"

Vanish

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    3 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      Skeptical about what? The existence of a “malevolent entity”? Then why is he frantically searching for said entity?

      Shouldn’t he be frantically searching for his father — and the Big Reveal is that in spite of his skepticism this “malevolent entity” exists?

      And “malevolent entity” is rather vague. Can you be more specific?

      That’s the fundamental problem: it’s a vague, general premise that doesn’t stand out, distinguish itself from 10,001 story lines about “malevolent entities”, frantic searches, et cetera.

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    2. Ok how about ” A skeptical young man frantically searches for his father who was taken by the devil”
      He is Skeptical because he doesn’t believe in the supernatural or is there a better way of a saying a non believer anther one is.
      “A skeptical young man searches for his father who vanishes after seeing the devil”

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    3. The question that immediately comes to mind is, how does someone who doesn’t believe in the supernatural go after a supernatural entity such as the devil? I think it just needs to be clarified.

      Also, the logline should give us some idea as to what we’re dealing with. The word “entity” by itself is too vague.

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