A high school graduate prepares to move out of his childhood home. However, in order to pursue a future in journalism, he must first let go of the memories that are tying him down.

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What I Left Behind

9 reviews

Apologize for the redundancy: it's taken too many [expletive deleted] hours to post anything at this website. I thought the first attempt had failed.

Apologize for the redundancy: it's taken too many [expletive deleted] hours to post anything at this website. I thought the first attempt had failed.

Let me try again: I'm guessing the concept is a coming of age story about a teen who must exorcise a psychological ghost or three in his past before he can go forward with his life.

If so, then the logline needs to specify the ghost-- the bad "memories". Which is another way of saying that story needs a great hook -- something that makes it different from all the other stories about characters who have to deal with bad "memories"?

The movie "Ordinary People" (1980) comes to mind. It's about a teenage boy dealing with awful memories -- the death of his older brother in a boating accident . As the movie opens, the surviving brother has already attempted suicide once out of guilt and remorse. But the bad memories of the accident still torment him; the suicidal urges still rages within -- he's in very real danger of trying to kill himself again..

So the movie is about a boy fighting for his life -- the stakes don't get higher than that. The plot of the movie is the climax of his personal struggle to face down the ghost of the boating accident.

A tentative logline for "Ordinary People" might be: a guilt-ridden, suicidal teenager must overcome crushing remorse for the accidental death of his brother or he will try to kill himself again.

Now, it could be argued that this is not a standard logline because the positive objective goal (stay alive) is implied by a negative: don't try suicide again.

However, the movie, "Ordinary People" was adapted from a best-selling book: the concept was already pre-sold. It didn't need a logline with a hook, any logline at all.

What I'm leading up to is that unless your adapting a best-selling book, a pre-sold concept, your story does need a logline with a hook. And, imho, "let go of memories" is too vague to be a hook, to grab attention. There is nothing in "let go of memories" that make the story stand out from all the other stories where characters have to "let go of memories".

And the reader of the logline needs to know what the stakes are. If the teenager can't come to terms with his past, what is the consequence? What does he stand to lose?. What's at stake?

fwiw.

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