Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
KeeksboutitPenpusher
Posted: September 27, 20172017-09-27T20:10:32+10:00 2017-09-27T20:10:32+10:00In: Drama

When a young successful fashion model suffering from neglect and heartbreak from her lover. She seeks love and comfort from his arch rival for revenge.

When a young successful fashion model suffering from neglect and heartbreak from her lover. She seeks love and comfort from his arch rival for revenge.
  • 0
  • 3 3 Reviews
  • 497 Views
  • 0 Followers
  • 0
Share
  • Facebook

    Post a review
    Cancel reply

    You must login to add an answer.

    Forgot Password?

    To see everything, Sign Up Here

    3 Reviews

    • Voted
    • Oldest
    • Recent
    1. Foxtrot25 Uberwriter
      2017-09-28T02:51:49+10:00Added an answer on September 28, 2017 at 2:51 am

      Keeks,

      These are incomplete sentences as is.

      A? hearbroken woman hooks up with her ex’s rival to seek revenge, but later learns…

      I hope you have an ironic arc awaiting this woman down the road or she realizes how to become a better person in the end.

      Can you provide more info about the plot?

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    2. dpg Singularity
      2017-09-28T02:59:28+10:00Added an answer on September 28, 2017 at 2:59 am

      This might be a story arc for a character in an episode or two or three of an ensemble soap opera or dramatic series set in the bling, bling world of fashion, but I don’t see how it is substantial enough to justify the investment of time, money and talent to be a feature film.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    3. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2017-09-28T15:24:13+10:00Added an answer on September 28, 2017 at 3:24 pm

      It sounds like there are many melodramatic moments in this story and very low stakes. She wants a better man and finds it, then her first man finds out and gets angry. Up until this point in the story nothing is out of the ordinary, or in other words, no inciting incident has occurred.

      The first man threatens the new man’s life – could be seen as an inciting incident. She must now take action to stop him from killing her new love – this is act 2. For an MC’s action this is too slim (pardon the pun…) there simply isn’t enough, in her trying to stop him, to make a whole act 2 of a film.

      If she fails, the first man kills the new one, she’s left alone and I’m not sure what the point of the film was. If she succeeds, she lives happily ever after with the new man – a pedestrian outcome at best. There’s no ‘hook’, twist or anything that makes this a story worthy problem for a film.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp

    Sidebar

    Stats

    • Loglines 7,997
    • Reviews 32,189
    • Best Reviews 629
    • Users 3,712

    screenwriting courses

    Adv 120x600

    aalan

    Explore

    • Signup

    Footer

    © 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
    With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.