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4 reviews
As previously mentioned stakes and clear objectives are needed.
Additionally if this is a farce comedy then the premise could work so long as a need in the character's world is established the story would also require sufficient and well structured sub plots to work for an entire film. A good example of a similar premise that executed farce well is Wane's World 2.
With regards to the logline itself I would say that asking a question at the end in my mind normally weakens a logline. A good logline should describe a set of characters and obstacle and a need in such a way that a question is naturally formed in the mind of the reader with no need for a direct prompt from the logline itself. The effect of this is intrigue for the reader so when you ask the reader a question instead this effect is diluted.
Hope this helps.
As Richiev said. The logline needs spicing up with the elements he suggested.
As Richiev said. The logline needs spicing up with the elements he suggested.
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