Upon successful human cloning, the mother and the Military of USA destroy the Earth, to redefine ?Mankind? and ?Humanity? on a recreated Earth.
RheaSolarisLogliner
Upon successful human cloning, the mother and the Military of USA destroy the Earth, to redefine ?Mankind? and ?Humanity? on a recreated Earth.
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Hi there!
Greetings from India!
This logline was originally created for me by Foxtrot25, during October 2017. Later I worked on the story, ‘Loving Nymph’, (which was just some 170 pages approximately), and now that story is a part of a much bigger one, “Business With The Devil’ (760 pages). I’ve used the same logline for BWTD. The conversation with Foxtrot25 went on like this:ME:-
‘Thank you Foxtrot25 for helping me out.
I thought you might want to have a look at the story? It?s not illegal to share link to the story on logline.it You?re many who?ve helped me out. Mind me sharing a link here in comment/message?
Rhea’
FOXTROT25:-
‘I don?t think it?s illegal to post the link here. Try it, see if you get valuable feedback from someone, just make sure your work is protected.
Gl.’
on October 26, 2017.
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I thought I might include here the 2 page synopsis for ‘Business With The Devil’?
Here it is:-
NIKITA MAJILA
BUSINESS WITH THE DEVIL
rheasolaris@gmail.com
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NOTE: I?m pitching a STORY.
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INTRODUCTION: The story is inspired by true events.
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THE SPECS:
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?????????????????????? The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button
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THE STORY
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Beautiful Rose must find a way thru life on Earth because the origin would then go missing otherwise. The same fortunate Ryan Lochte finds a way thru the consequences following like he can. He consumes LSD which was prescribed for him for recovery from psychological, mental and physical pain he chose to go thru. The drug makes him realize his true identity, together with self-realization and self-actualization. The aliens are only bloodless bodies, 100 aliens travel to Earth and contact Military of USA where Officer Nick and Rose communicate with them and later these reveal that the bodies ?evaporated? like only acid was left from the 100 alien bodies, acid which we need to recreate the Earth. The one who had been communicating with the Military said that his own human clone was born already, and that he?s Ryan Lochte, US Olympic swimmer. He left two documents for him before his body evaporated, Info and Mannual. Upon having this knowledge Ryan would become Lord Shiva, the destroyer God. These 100 were clones of the same one God ? Lord Shiva. On his planet, which can be called ?Mirror World?, they had cloning on high. In the beginning, a woman clone of the same God was created, and was killed ? she was Rose. The God studied the genes for 5,000 years and then destroyed the planet, together with thousands of trillions of clones on the planet. In Hell, these were punished by giant biological machines, with which the God created souls of girls, these were clone children of Rose. Meanwhile, Rose was working together with the Military of USA, who are planning to end the Earth, to recreate Earth. Together they plan to make a blast at CERN, for which they let the secret information out to terrorists, who are going to destroy the Earth, bit by bit and then finally, totally. Rose has clone children, and is planning many more. She can grow lost limbs for which she has a set stretagy to follow.
Rose gets to find offense very easily, and the way she was brought up, she would deny anything which comes her way and would reply with positivity instead. Then onwards, once she gets to find her tattoos which represent Ryan Lochte and her son with him, Neero, she would forgive everyone, being a religious one, someone who?s been touched by Christ. The belief part, is her conscience, and Humanity and Mankind would continue with her existence among many men, we, who survived the salvation and recreated the Earth for betterment of life. The purpose was met because she is a fertile woman. The Military builds Green Giant ? The Ship, which can be operated using two software, 1, Lady Machine and 2, Man Machine. First Rose built Lady Machine, and later the Military, together standing as one person, built Man Machine. Lady Machine can operate the ship but upon being met with emergencies, she would give up working for possibly anyone. And this fault, led her to give birth to so many clone children, hers as well as those of her lovers?. There?re going to be 8 more twins born with her eggs and her lovers? sperms, and each of these twins, one is a girl and the other is a boy, they are lovers among them two. During 2020, Neero was born, and in the umbilical cord there were Human Roe, together with stemcells, which were derived in a way that one hundred thousand clone girl children can be born, who had Double Helix Ring DNA. There?s Polar Bear Project, which took place before her pregnancy. They hunt a polar bear and the DMT derived from the brain was given to Rose who got pregnant the same night, and on 31st day of conception, the embryo was taken out using vacuum aspiration, the third generation of mixing the stemcells, would be able to grow lost limbs for the veterans, this technology led to cure Cancer.
The belief part of the story, on Rose?s behalf, was about Christ being her son Neero. Her visions include her religious point of view, and she knows that these 100 aliens were ?religious leaders? of that planet. Science together with Religion, creates, and destroys Mankind. We are being cause, and reason for creation as well as destruction. But God is one of us. And the same matter, gets to find her right when she describes how exactly Neero appeared to her ever since she was 17 years old, and what work the Demon made her do, which can lead Humanity and Mankind to this so severe destination, in the sense that science and religion, together, can destroy the planet Earth, and she can create another kind of world, together with all potent guys, who were made to survive. She consumes the DMT from her brother?s brain, who, according to the theory she wrote, is Satan himself, the DMT makes her colors of eyes, skin and hair change to blue, white and maroon successively. The quest is just the beginning ? she left her parents? home where her brother was living, too. Together with Lucky, she found a better way to live life, while her child Sara was born thru her with normal delivery. Later she asked Tiger to help her get rid of the knowledge which has been bothering her thru out the years, the fact that she can kill using only her brain, and would, if she has to ? in order to protect her family and child. The same technique with which she can kill, can give life also. The positivity she had been talking about, led her to the right kind of crowd in this world, and she calls the potent guys her brothers. Tiger unveils her true identity to the entire world and she can go unnoticed in her brain but not by the world. Upon this recognition, she wrote this story, which was meant to describe her schizophrenic situation, and upon completion, there?s desctruction of our Earth. When she is in her right senses, she realizes that she is half asleep in her senses and can communicate with the Demon Neero, who imposed upon her that she must talk about the situation to Tiger, who would later realize the severity of the situation and can make it availed for betterment of life.
That’s it! That’s all I’ve got for telling here, at logline.it . The logline was originally written by Foxtrot25. I might just mention it here twice.
Thanks for the marvellous response, and Thanks for helping me out, here at logline.it. I guess the logline is the most perfect in every way to represent the bigger picture, the bigger story, ‘Business With The Devil’.. Though I thought that BWTD represents a bigger picture, than the ‘Loving Nymph’. And still the best logline I can have for BWTD.
Regards,
Rhea 🙂
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/3zsxzrvq1wm5apd/AAC9yNO-hjinamtjI9S_vhdca?dl=0
This link leads you to Dropbox, where ‘Business With The Devil’, the story, is protected, though I haven’t made a copyright yet, for entire story, part of the story is protected by copyright at Film Writers’ Association, India.
Thanks for reading.
And a very short message regarding the story would be: (Just 2/4 pages)
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/3zsxzrvq1wm5apd/AAC9yNO-hjinamtjI9S_vhdca?dl=0
Best Regards,
Rhea 🙂
After reading the plot, I’d say it has multiple unrelated elements which seem deliberately created rather than natural. The plot lacks a singular throughline. That’s because her goal is vague. What must she do to ensure the safety of her kids?
How does her being “biologically enhanced” works in the scheme of your plot (so much that it needs mentioning in the logline)
“Social acceptance” of her cloned children needs to be more specific.
Why is her own brother gonna take them away?
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A logline must raise this one question only:
“will the protagonist achieve his goal?”
As variable said.?
And if she’s biologically enhanced, can kill with her mind, I don’t see how her brother poses a serious threat.? She can stop him with merely a thought. Given her powers, the threat of his taking her children doesn’t seem to be credible.
Fighting for the social acceptance of anyone in any situation isn’t enough for a story – hold your horses any “WARRIORS” out there, please read ahead…
The power of a story comes from the hight of the stakes the main character faces and in this case, the stakes (as defined in the logline) aren’t high enough – relevant or timely, perhaps, but not high. Consider The Imitation Game, the main plot of the film dealt with stopping the Nazi forces from winning the war – Das iz big stakes, ya? However, the subplot was about society’s inability to accept a gay guy – in other words, social acceptance.
Point is, you need high enough stakes for the MC to pursue in the ‘A’ plot and any lesser stakes to be delegated to the ‘B’ or C’ plots.
Stakes aside, the logline’s structure isn’t helping. Specifically, what event made the mother need to fight for her children? This is the big motivating event, or inciting incident, and needs to be described in the logline.
Lastly, you need to describe a goal “…fight for the social acceptance of her cloned children…” is an action but how will the audience know she succeeded or failed? What is the end result of her fight? You need to describe the goal she is fighting for and in doing so give a clear time frame for your story so a decisions maker can wrap their head around it.