Driven by the impoverishment surrounding his family and community, a timid young man attempts to take back the land stolen from his ancestors. Based on a true story of [US State/Country] infamy. (Title: Trespass Against Those)

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6 reviews

Agreed with DPG, the specifics of the story will help the reader picture it in their mind.

Instead of saying that he's driven by impoverishment, I'de describe one particular event, which exemplifies the impoverishment, that motivated him to take action. Otherwise, the story has no specific starting point.

yes, you're right, that is imperative to the logline, and i will work it in. thanks!

yes, you're right, that is imperative to the logline, and i will work it in. thanks!

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