Samurai
Posted: 2019-04-19T18:06:59+10:00 In:

In 1961, a British double agent is blackmailed with his past crimes by a former colleague, and forced to spy on a suspected Nazi war criminal, now an American jet-setter living on the French Riviera.

In 1961, a British double agent is blackmailed with his past crimes by a former colleague, and forced to spy on a suspected Nazi war criminal, now an American jet-setter living on the French Riviera.
Share

    Post a review

    You must login to add an answer.

    To see everything,

    6 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      Better

      • 0
    2. Uberwriter

      Why did the colleague had to blackmail him, for spying on someone who could be a threat to all? Can the former colleague not take his suspicions to the Cops?

      • 0
    3. Singularity

      Variable raises good questions.? Why does his colleague resort to blackmail when the more efficient tactic would be to tip off the Israeli Mossad which? was the most relentless and competent? group of spooks for tracking down and bringing to justice Nazi war criminals. Something his colleague, a professional spy, should know.

      That aside, the logline suggests a complex story where the protagonist has to resolve two plot problems — the goal to be realized in the future of nabbing the ex-Nazi and the goal of resolving the ghost in his past that makes him vulnerable to blackmail.? Ideally, there would be a complementary relationship between the two such that the climax resolves both.

      • 0
    4. Samurai

      Agree. Some improvements and still some questions.

      If his past crimes are known early on, then they should be in the logline even if it means a longer log. If they’re not revealed until later, then hint to them and tell us who he is today.

      Spying sure seems like the first step of a greater objective so is there more to say about the job?

      What’s the conflict? Is it difficult for this former agent to spy? Does something go wrong?

      If the main stakes are about the protag, then we should care about him or relate to him. Usually someone is blackmailed into something they wouldn’t normally do.

      Here’s an example of a sharper logline (not great as that takes more time and this isn’t about trying to shape the story):

      In 1961, after hearing of a Nazi living large on the French Riviera, a retired British agent troubled over his wartime actions befriends the man as part of a scheme to bring him to justice. ?

      • 0
    5. Samurai

      Still on my mind…

      In 1961, a retired British agent who’s guilt-ridden over his collaboration with the Germans in WWII is blackmailed into capturing a Nazi war criminal living a jet-setter life on the French Riviera.

      That’s a smoother logline (not great), but still raises a few of the wrong kind of questions. .

      • 0
    6. Samurai

      Thanks for the feedback, everyone. Thanks for the loglines, Robb Ross. I’ll see what I can do.

      • 0