Gabriel Yakub

Penpusher · 40 points

260 points to Logliner

2 loglines
4 reviews

After an obnoxious weatherman begrudgingly covers groundhog-day in Punxsutawney, he continuously wakes up to that same day, and must find a way out of the time-loop.

November 17, 2016
A detective’s ex-wife asks him to find their missing son, he discovers that a mysterious old woman abducted him, and learns dark secrets about his wife and his own past, that forces him to take action.

October 10, 2016

on A detective’s ex-wife asks him to find their missing son, he discovers that a mysterious old woman abducted him, and learns dark secrets about his wife and his own past, that forces him to take action.

Such awesome feedback, thank you!!?Will go away and revise again. ?I think I'm realising that I haven't figured out the plot entirely... amazing how writing a ?log line can reveal such important info!
on A detective’s ex-wife asks him to find their missing son, he discovers that a mysterious old woman abducted him, and learns dark secrets about his wife and his own past, that forces him to take action.

Looked at the training section, and it really helped my develop my story, and distill it. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction. Here's the revised log line: When a detective investigates the disappearance of his son, he discovers…
on A detective’s ex-wife asks him to find their missing son, he discovers that a mysterious old woman abducted him, and learns dark secrets about his wife and his own past, that forces him to take action.

Thanks so much for the feedback, will have a read of the guidelines and review.
on A detective’s ex-wife asks him to find their missing son, he discovers that a mysterious old woman abducted him, and learns dark secrets about his wife and his own past, that forces him to take action.

FYI, forgot to add "When" at the beginning.

Penpusher