Gabriel Yakub

Initiate · 40 points

60 points to Logliner

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on A detective’s ex-wife asks him to find their missing son, he discovers that a mysterious old woman abducted him, and learns dark secrets about his wife and his own past, that forces him to take action.

Such awesome feedback, thank you!!?Will go away and revise again. ?I think I'm realising that I haven't figured out the plot entirely... amazing how writing a ?log line can reveal such important info!
on A detective’s ex-wife asks him to find their missing son, he discovers that a mysterious old woman abducted him, and learns dark secrets about his wife and his own past, that forces him to take action.

Looked at the training section, and it really helped my develop my story, and distill it. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction. Here's the revised log line: When a detective investigates the disappearance of his son, he discovers…
on A detective’s ex-wife asks him to find their missing son, he discovers that a mysterious old woman abducted him, and learns dark secrets about his wife and his own past, that forces him to take action.

Thanks so much for the feedback, will have a read of the guidelines and review.
on A detective’s ex-wife asks him to find their missing son, he discovers that a mysterious old woman abducted him, and learns dark secrets about his wife and his own past, that forces him to take action.

FYI, forgot to add "When" at the beginning.