Greg_Barnett

Penpusher · 165 points

135 points to Logliner

6 loglines
4 reviews

The ice caps have melted. The air supply is poisoned. The human race teeters on the brink of survival. One woman strives to challenge the re-emerging patriarchy. When the situation arises, how will society choose to rebuild itself?

July 1, 2020
In a future totalitarian state, a reclusive IT expert finds himself dragged into the shadows to lead the resistance and save the world.

July 19, 2013
As the British retreat during the spring offensive of 1918, an officer – haunted by his lost love – must lead his men into a final counter attack if he is to return home to win her back.

March 26, 2013
The memories of his last leave and a chance encounter with his lost love inspire a British Officer to survive the last months of War so he can return to England and live the life with her he always dreamed of.

March 25, 2013
As a ranking officer battles to keep himself and his comrades alive and sane in the final months of the great war, a chance encounter with his lost love finally brings the truth of why she disappeared with their baby girl a decade ago and inspires him to try and rekindle the life together that was so prematurely taken from them.

March 24, 2013
Haunted by his past, a chance encounter forces Matthew to face his truth as he battles to survive the trials of the First World War.

March 23, 2013

on A 24 year-old man needs the helping hand of his ex-rival’s foul-mouthed womanizing ghost to overcome his impotence and get laid.

I love the sound of this film. The logline feels very concise and to the point and made me chuckle.
on As a ranking officer battles to keep himself and his comrades alive and sane in the final months of the great war, a chance encounter with his lost love finally brings the truth of why she disappeared with their baby girl a decade ago and inspires him to try and rekindle the life together that was so prematurely taken from them.

Thanks for your comments, I'm afraid i don't know the rule of K.I.S.S Please would you explain it to me? Also when you write weakness, is that in regards to the description of the character? Thanks
on An obese kid who suffers from junk food addiction is put on a healthy diet. As he struggles through withdrawl, he starts to hallucinate that his happy meal toys collection is coming to life, and he embarks in an adventure to save the loved one of Grimex, the most popular of his toys, from his neighbor, a bully kid who works as a delivery boy.

i think you can make this more concise. Eg: An obese boy is put on a strict health food diet and as he struggles with withdrawal from junk food he starts to hallucinate etc...
on The chronicles of Nomar Kendrapall, the dying emperor of a crumbling galactic empire, as he struggles to maintain control while his sociopathic son hatches Machiavellian schemes to usurp the throne, his rivals jockey for power, and an alien empire threatens to re-ignite an interstellar war.

I agree with both of the above comments. The last logline was engaging and precisely said what was needed whereas this one is over complicated and confusing.