Lars

Penpusher · 220 points

80 points to Logliner

8 loglines
7 reviews

1

After he magically starts visualizing the desires of any female he touches, a girl-shy teen gets the chance to win his dream girl away from a Machiavellian bully.

February 27, 2017
When a humiliated teen starts visualizing the true desires of any female he touches, he gets a chance to win the girl away from his Machiavellian rival.

February 22, 2017
When a humiliated teen gets the ability to see the desires of anyone he touches, he gets a shot at outmaneuvering the girl who brought him down.

February 22, 2017
When a chauvinistic advertising exec gets the ability to hear what women are really thinking, he gets a shot at outmaneuvering the woman who stole his job.

February 22, 2017
After losing everything to an emotionally sophisticated rival, the one-time “king of high school” gets a chance to win it all back when he starts visualizing the desires of anyone he touches.

February 22, 2017
When he starts visualizing the desires of anyone he touches, a lovelorn but clueless teen has one week to win his true love before she leaves for college.

February 19, 2017
When his life unravels, a selfish, high school Jock is given a chance of redemption when he starts visualizing the desires of anyone he touches. p.s I’m trying something a bit different … 2 log lines based on the same premise. This one is a comeuppance tale of Jerk transformed to Good Guy. The next submission is Loser to Hero…. Your thoughts on both or either please. And which transformation do you prefer? which logline is the most ironic?

February 19, 2017
When he starts visualizing the sexual fantasies of anyone he touches, a love-struck freshman has one week to find true love or be doomed to rule hell. Title: SixSixSix

February 15, 2017

on when a freedom believer urges his tribe to be free, he gets caught by another tribe to be sold asa slave .

i find a few questions can really tease out what might benefit from going into the logline:What's his specific goal here? is it to escape? or is it bigger than that? How?does the 'urging his tribe to be free' connect…
on Update: When a night of UFO watching goes terribly wrong, a 12-year-old aspiring astronaut makes contact in a way she never expected. (SciFi/Family)

Hi Erica,to me it's a bit too opaque. ?I think it's suffering from what Blake Snyder refers to in STC3 as Hiding the Ball. ?It tells me something mysterious is going on - but I don't know what - it…
on When a humiliated teen starts visualizing the true desires of any female he touches, he gets a chance to win the girl away from his Machiavellian rival.

I feel like I've a had masterclass seminar on this -so thank you all. I must be able to pull out ?a logline now ... I'll stew on a few ideas today ... So thank you and apologies in advance…
on A human orphan raised in outer space must overcome his sense of abandonment to help Elvis Presley protect a time machine from an alien hellbent on destroying the galaxy.

Hi solidjim, i like the concept of an Elvis/time machines sci-fi ?but have a few questions on the logline that ight hopefully tease this out a bit more 1. what do abandonment issues have to do with saving the galaxy?…
on When he starts visualizing the sexual fantasies of anyone he touches, a love-struck freshman has one week to find true love or be doomed to rule hell. Title: SixSixSix

It would be really helpful to find out whether people prefer a clearer but longer version: When he starts visualizing the sexual fantasies of anyone he touches, a love-struck freshman discovers he's destined to takeover Hell, but the Devil gives…
on When he starts visualizing the sexual fantasies of anyone he touches, a love-struck freshman has one week to find true love or be doomed to rule hell. Title: SixSixSix

Hi nouveau, thanks for your feedback. ?it's INCREDIBLY USEFUL. Yes it's "Omen" turned into a gross-out comedy. ? The devil is the antagonist and he wants to hand over the reins to his son, the unwitting protagonist. ? ?I'll try…
on A group of criminals see their escape from prison when an infamous prison breaker arrive. The problem however : he doesn’t want to escape anymore.

Hi, I agree with lots of the points already made - making it about one person, and sticking a bit closer to the formula. ?A problem is that 'the event' is the arrival of a person - so it makes…