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when a freedom believer urges his tribe to be free, he gets caught by another tribe to be sold asa slave .
i find a few questions can really tease out what might benefit from going into the logline:What's his specific goal here? is it to escape? or is it bigger than that? How?does the 'urging his tribe to be free' connect…
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Update: When a night of UFO watching goes terribly wrong, a 12-year-old aspiring astronaut makes contact in a way she never expected. (SciFi/Family)
Hi Erica,to me it's a bit too opaque. ?I think it's suffering from what Blake Snyder refers to in STC3 as Hiding the Ball. ?It tells me something mysterious is going on - but I don't know what - it…
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When a humiliated teen starts visualizing the true desires of any female he touches, he gets a chance to win the girl away from his Machiavellian rival.
I feel like I've a had masterclass seminar on this -so thank you all. I must be able to pull out ?a logline now ... I'll stew on a few ideas today ... So thank you and apologies in advance…
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A human orphan raised in outer space must overcome his sense of abandonment to help Elvis Presley protect a time machine from an alien hellbent on destroying the galaxy.
Hi solidjim, i like the concept of an Elvis/time machines sci-fi ?but have a few questions on the logline that ight hopefully tease this out a bit more 1. what do abandonment issues have to do with saving the galaxy?…
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When he starts visualizing the sexual fantasies of anyone he touches, a love-struck freshman has one week to find true love or be doomed to rule hell.
Title: SixSixSix
It would be really helpful to find out whether people prefer a clearer but longer version: When he starts visualizing the sexual fantasies of anyone he touches, a love-struck freshman discovers he's destined to takeover Hell, but the Devil gives…
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When he starts visualizing the sexual fantasies of anyone he touches, a love-struck freshman has one week to find true love or be doomed to rule hell.
Title: SixSixSix
Hi nouveau, thanks for your feedback. ?it's INCREDIBLY USEFUL. Yes it's "Omen" turned into a gross-out comedy. ? The devil is the antagonist and he wants to hand over the reins to his son, the unwitting protagonist. ? ?I'll try…
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A group of criminals see their escape from prison when an infamous prison breaker arrive. The problem however : he doesn’t want to escape anymore.
Hi, I agree with lots of the points already made - making it about one person, and sticking a bit closer to the formula. ?A problem is that 'the event' is the arrival of a person - so it makes…
